


Sine Sole Sileo

by lgbtimelord, momobamiyuki



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, also titled: hope has big dumbass energy, big idiots in love and full of angst, but landon also asks hope out, but u acc dwell in hope's mind and how she tries to do the best for everyone, hope and lizzie r fwb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23479474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtimelord/pseuds/lgbtimelord, https://archiveofourown.org/users/momobamiyuki/pseuds/momobamiyuki
Summary: Maybe she prefers Lizzie because her love is the same as Hope’s, volatile and dangerous: fated to blow up.Maybe that’s why when Landon is kind and sweet to her, it doesn’t sit well with her, perhaps she doesn’t love herself enough to be kind to herself either.also known as: Hope shouldn't have thought that finding her sun and epic love was going to be as easy as her mother had let her believe.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman, Landon Kirby/Hope Mikaelson, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 28
Kudos: 291





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well hello there!! been some time without seeing u all!! its snow and cande here, bringing u the best food u can ever taste in our first collab!! we hope u enjoy this and comments and kudos r always loved by us both!! 
> 
> enjoy and read in peace!!

**CHAPTER 1**

_Insane, inside the danger gets me high_

_Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell_

_I love the smell of gasoline_

_I light the match to taste the heat_

_I've always liked to play with fire_

_Play with fire_

_I've always liked to play with fire_

* * *

Regardless of popular belief, Hope is a Mikaelson all the way. 

Just not _really_ in the usual way. 

Hope wouldn’t go “bloody murder” every other week, but she’d show her true colors on the small things. 

She’d sass Alaric as much as she could, she’d take the last pastry even though she knows Josie has been dying to get one. She’d have sex with Lizzie Saltzman in every room of the school and not give a fuck about it.

Perhaps she was right, she _was_ as evil as her family name led to believe.

Who even stole a pastry from a poor, hungry and good soul like Josie? But it wasn't like she was stealing from Pedro, so she _might_ get a pass.

But in truth, Hope doesn't have many places where she can let go of her anger- all those feelings bottled up inside of her that she needs to keep in check for the sake of everyone. No matter how much she held herself back, easy spells and going out as a wolf only on the full moon to protect the others, she needs a sweet release from everything.

She wants to scream from time to time _Look at me, I’m Klaus Mikaelson’s daughter, you can't keep me here_. And yet, she knows the moment she did that she’d have made a decision she couldn’t take back, would have to make everyone face a tribrid who could easily overpower them.

Not with Lizzie though. 

Lizzie saw through her as if she was some transparent liquid, knowing all the darkness Hope kept in check for the sake of everyone. She knew that and unlike others, allowed Hope to explore it, throw it out and let Lizzie be at the end of it.

She let the fire in Hope burn as if she was the match that started it all. Lizzie saw the sparks inside of her and made them stronger as if she enjoyed the heat.

(Hope laughs when she thinks of the mental image of Lizzie not being scared of her fire but instead being so calm she’d probably make marshmallows in it.)

She doesn’t ask if Hope is okay, because she always knows when she is and when she isn’t. It's as if she can see whatever Hope is feeling without permission; not like Hope wouldn’t let her.

She doesn’t ask, Lizzie always lets her burn- even if Hope burns her in the process.

Like everything in Hope’s life, from her birth to meeting Landon to being at the right time at the right moment to save the day, it starts off as an accident.

She likes to believe she let Lizzie in as an accident. But Lizzie made herself a place in her heart by burning down every wall Hope had around her, she got into Hope’s heart quietly and then all at once, the same way a fire burns down a house.

So really, Hope hears the fire alarms. 

She simply ignores them and lets Lizzie build a place in her heart, all be damned and lit in a fire.

With Landon there are no fire alarms, so she thinks that’s better- that’s safe. Even when Landon wouldn’t bring her the same thrill and fuse the fire inside her the same way Lizzie does- he’s her epic love, he has to be peaceful and comfortable. 

Whether she likes that or not, she doesn’t care to think of it. Landon is… Landon, the complete opposite of Lizzie.

But, there is always something about the way Landon asks her if she is okay (when she clearly isn’t) and how Lizzie just shows up to her room with ice cream and a silent look as if knowing Hope before she uttered a word.

Regardless, she should have heard the first fire alarm the night she found Lizzie alone in the showers.

It had been a full moon night and she had forgotten her clothes somewhere she couldn’t find them in the dark. That meant going inside the school as a wolf until she could reach the showers.

Her plans were disturbed by a quiet voice, singing a song Hope had heard MG bopping to once or twice.

“Didn’t I say anything about no one entering here?”

It was Lizzie. Hope didn’t answer and Lizzie stuck her head out, smirking when she saw the grey wolf, especially when Hope turned back human and grabbed a towel immediately.

“Are you seriously singing High School Musical right now?” Hope asked in disbelief, pretending Lizzie didn't just see her naked.

“What? It’s a classic,” she defended herself and rested her body on the shower stall, body covered by the shower curtain.

Hope rolled her eyes and stared at the other showers, trying to remember which one Josie told her would always have warmer water because of an old trick she had done on it.

It all started to go downhill when Lizzie’s hold on the shower curtain went limp and Hope was staring at a stark naked Lizzie.

“If you’re looking for the hot shower, it’s this one.”

Hope didn’t know if Lizzie meant the shower Josie talked about or something else. The worst of it was that Hope wouldn’t have minded _both._

She raised an eyebrow in Lizzie’s direction, “And are you leaving any time soon?”

Hope walked closer, feeling as if she was stepping on the wolf’s den. The irony wasn’t lost upon her.

“I like my showers long,” Lizzie smirked, “I don’t mind sharing, unless, of course, you do.”

She was taunting her, and Hope knew it, a trap laid so bare that Hope would be blind or downright stupid to not see it.

Yet, Hope didn’t care. The water was hot against her head when she stepped inside, closing the shower curtain slowly.

“No more singing?” Hope asked after a few seconds, “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“I’m quite a talented girl, Hope. I can give quite a show in many ways.”

Hope bit her lip and tried not to look down at Lizzie’s legs in all their glory. Instead, she moved closer to her, their chests almost touching and took the shampoo behind Lizzie.

“Do me?” says Lizzie.

Hope, for all its worth, hid her panic quite well. Except Lizzie was smirking at her and she knew her face was red after a few seconds passed.

“I mean my hair, Hope. My, my, the local tribrid has trouble being in the shower without getting it on.”

Lizzie turned around and Hope chose upon ignoring her, wetting her hands with the shampoo before starting on her hair. Lizzie’s hair was soft, almost with no tangled locks and Hope enjoyed how good it felt running her hands through it.

Without even realizing, Hope leaned closer until she saw the shudder passing through Lizzie, their bodies touching and Hope’s lips resting on her shoulder.

“What are you doing?” murmured Lizzie, barely loud enough to be heard over the water were it not for Hope’s werewolf hearing.

“Washing your hair,” Hope answered just as quietly, “isn’t that what you wanted?”

Lizzie turned around before Hope could step away, their bodies so close and Hope could have counted the freckles on Lizzie’s chest. 

They were 20. Not as if she was counting.

She saw a small scar on Lizzie’s right shoulder and had to stop herself from asking how she got it- so as if not to ruin the moment, as fragile and intense as it was.

“And you, Hope,” the blonde asked, her fingers moving Hope’s wet hair from her face, dragging her hand on her scalp until it rested on the nape of her neck, “what do you want?”

Hope felt as if there wasn’t enough air in the stall, as if Lizzie’s hand on the nape of her neck was closing her airway until all she could breathe was Lizzie and all she could see was Lizzie’s dark blue eyes.

“You,” she barely managed to whisper.

Lizzie smiled and the next thing Hope felt were Lizzie’s lips against hers. 

It was burning, she felt it everywhere and she couldn’t help but let a low moan escape her, especially when Lizzie’s other hand leaned against the wall and Hope’s entire body was flushed against the stall’s wall.

She clumsily let her hands wander from Lizzie’s waist to her back and she rested them on her shoulders, almost dying at how firm the muscles against her fingers were.

Lizzie’s mouth moved lower and Hope could do nothing but raise her neck. She wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up screaming, Lizzie’s mouth hot and kissing her neck as if she knew every spot which made Hope go weak on her knees.

“What do you want me to do?” Lizzie whispered low against her ear. 

That snapped Hope to reality and her eyes widened. Lizzie had noticed it, of course she did, and stopped, eyes searching and patient.

“ _If_ you want to do anything,” she said, letting her hand beside Hope’s head fall to her hips, comforting her with gentle caresses.

Hope bit her lip and looked away from Lizzie’s eyes- they were too kind and understanding. She hated she felt as if she was disappointing Lizzie somehow, even if there wasn’t a hint of that in Lizzie’s gaze.

“No, we should, I-”

But Lizzie shook her head and laid a soft kiss on her forehead. “Relax, Mikaelson. Never do anything you don’t feel like doing.”

Hope sighed and nodded her head. Lizzie brought her head up with a finger and Hope relaxed when she saw her smile. And she knew that then, everything was okay.

* * *

Everything wasn’t okay.

More like everything was on fire and Hope’s brain cells were doing the macarena while the rest were having a mental breakdown. 

Maybe this all wouldn’t have happened if Lizzie wasn’t looking that breathtaking and she didn’t exist so Hope’s mind could think about something else other than her.

She sat up in deep thoughts, an Eureka moment of the sort.

What if she dipped her head in Malivore, would that erase some of her memories? Or did she have to dip her lips so she could forget how well Lizzie’s felt against them?

That thought died the moment she realized that maybe it wouldn’t work, considering she was the most powerful being and a tribrid, Malivore’s worst enemy. She had survived it once and then had survived it a second time to be able to control it, pretty sure the third time would be the charm to completely destroy it.

But she wants to take the memory of Lizzie’s lips against her own, her hands firm and confident on her body, out of her mind.

She wondered what had made her tell Lizzie what she did. She had sounded confident, sure of herself. 

Had Hope wanted this before? Had she thought, maybe even subconsciously, about Lizzie like that? 

She had always _thought_ about Lizzie, one way or another.

First in annoyance, the blonde girl that would always go after her, pushing her to hang out or talk when all she wanted to do was be alone.

Then, it had turned into something similar to hate when Lizzie had stopped trying and instead became the known “head bitch” of the school. 

It took a mummy and a lot of unburied secrets for them to start some kind of friendship and the bitchy and hateful comments had somehow turned into a friendly banter.

And Hope loved it. She could let go with Lizzie- turn all that anger and pain into something that wouldn’t cause pain, that wouldn’t make her want to crawl out of her own skin in shame.

She always kept the fire inside of Hope alive in those moments. 

Kissing Lizzie had lit her up in a way nothing ever had. So that’s possibly why she found herself walking along the empty hallways from her room to Lizzie’s.

Once in front of the door she realized Josie would be in the room too. She bit her lip and regarded her options; she could go back, pretend she didn’t want to have Lizzie’s body as close to hers as possible, never talk to the blonde again and move on. 

Instead she slowly opened the door and casted a silencing spell in Josie’s half of the room. She looked at Lizzie sleeping on her bed, a calm expression on her face- one that Hope is sure she never saw on her, one that looked… nice.

“Lizzie,” she whispered, moving closer to the bed. The blonde mumbled something unintelligible in answer.

Hope sighed, wondered if she should really be there. Was it okay, to show up to a girl’s bedroom and wake her up because you’re a needy mess about her? 

She stepped back, regretting her decision, and fell to the floor- tripping from the shoes beside Lizzie’s bed. She cursed and was glad she’d thought to do the spell on Josie’s part of the room.

“Hope?” a sleepy voice asked from the bed, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m-” 

Lizzie sat up on the bed, more awake, and motioned for her to sit on the bed. Hope does so wordlessly.

“Are you okay? Is this because…” she looked over to Josie’s bed.

“It’s fine, I put a silence spell on her,” she paused for a moment, “I think… I want to kiss you again.”

“Hope,” Lizzie said, uncertain, resting her hand on Hope’s face. It was nice, having Lizzie be so soft with her, careful as if Hope was the most precious of porcelain.

“Come back to my room with me,” she asked, “ _please_.”

“Hope,” Lizzie starts, “look, you’re probably confused- or just horny- we can talk tomorrow.”

“I’m not,” she said, “stop treating me like I’ll break.” 

Lizzie glared at her, and her breath caught on her throat when Hope found herself pulled to the blonde, their lips so close she could feel every word Lizzie whispered.

“I’m not afraid of that. I’m afraid that you’ll do that to yourself first thing tomorrow,” murmured Lizzie. 

“I know what I want.”

“Do you? You didn’t a few hours ago.”

Hope’s eyes flash yellow and before Lizzie knew it, Hope was in her lap, hands trapping Lizzie against the pillows.

“Why do you make everything so hard and complicated?” said Hope, voice rough from everything she was feeling ever since she walked into the room.

Lizzie only smirked, blue eyes focused on her face and hands resting in Hope’s thighs, too warm even through the cotton of her sweatpants. She was annoyingly calm and Hope wanted nothing more than to kiss the smirk off her face.

“Josie’s still here,” the blonde whispered when she sees Hope’s hands moving down.

“Then, stop being stubborn and come back to my room.”

Lizzie stared at her then at the door and then at Josie’s sleeping figure. 

She takes a decision and Hope can only get up, Lizzie’s hand warm in hers as they sneak out of her room. They walk in silence and Hope opens her door with a flick of her wrist when they reach her room.

One moment Lizzie is by her side, the other she’s standing before Hope and pulling her to the bed, pushing her there. Hope should be embarrassed by how easily she does that, how she feels like a ragdoll. However, her actually enjoying it was probably more embarrassing. 

That’s probably why when Lizzie is on top of her, she grabs her face in her hands and pulls her close. The smile in the blonde’s face melts as Hope’s tongue teases her lips open, slow and with the confidence of someone who had done this before.

That confidence slowly dies as Lizzie’s mouth moves lower, hands resting on the bed and when she leans up, Hope is left breathless from the view of Lizzie Saltzman straddling her.

“Will you say why you are acting as if I’m gonna murder you?” asks Lizzie, her fingers ready to start unbuttoning her sleeping shirt.

Hope stares at her skin, at sharp collarbones and soft skin, so different from any of her previous crushes. She remembers Roman, playful smirks and soft corners and a hard body, tight with muscles.

Her hands move without thinking to Lizzie’s shoulders, caressing her muscles and going lower, catching the buttons that hold the shirt closed. She unbuttons them slowly with one hand, the other sneaking under her shirt until Lizzie is left only on her bra.

Lizzie lets her see in peace, her hands moving to touch everything they could. Lizzie’s body is almost sculpted by the gods, tight and soft in all the right places, fitting against Hope’s grasp like it was meant to be held and worshipped by her.

“I’ve never done this before,” she whispers, a confession for their ears only. 

Lizzie pauses then, hands grabbing Hope’s and the tribrid calms down like with a spell. The blonde moves them, sitting beside Hope and making her straddle her thighs. 

“I’ll be slow, alright?” says Lizzie. Her smile is comforting and only then does she let herself feel everything without holding back.

She lets her eyes fall closed as Lizzie’s hands undress her slowly. Lizzie isn’t rushed, nor clumsy and Hope smiles when she feels her hands shake as her shirt is thrown away.

_“Disseco,”_ murmurs the blonde and Hope gasps when she hears how her skirt is ripped in two.

Lizzie, for all its worth, only smirks up to her, eyes mischievous and hands warm. 

“I liked that skirt,” she complains for no reason. It wasn’t her favorite skirt, nor her only one.

“I’m sure you can buy a new one,” she whispered slowly, “or do you have a hairdresser appointment tomorrow too?”

Hope doesn’t speak but she likes how Lizzie lets out a throaty moan when she grabs her blonde locks in a tight grip. She eases when Lizzie’s hands reach behind Hope’s back, her lips painting her chest with kisses.

“Can I?” murmurs Lizzie, chin resting on Hope’s shoulder, lips barely touching her ear. Hope can only nod her head and her shoulders relax when the bra falls down, Lizzie dragging her straps down slowly. 

She feels embarrassed for a moment, laid bare and free for Lizzie to see and feel. When Lizzie pulls her arms down slowly and her lips make their way to her breast, that embarrassment melts, giving place to arousal.

Lizzie’s lips are almost sinful, feeling like a scorching heat against her already warm skin. She kisses and bites down as if Hope is her favorite dessert- Hope wouldn’t mind being one for her.

After a few minutes of Lizzie kissing and touching her, Hope’s hands find her face and bring her head up so she can kiss her again. Lizzie kisses her slowly, enjoying each moment and letting Hope breathe her in.

She doesn’t think she has ever felt as relaxed as she did right now, even if Lizzie’s hands dig on her thighs and make their way between her legs. 

“Can you be faster?” she says, head leaning up again as Lizzie’s teeth bite her nipple. She could feel the smirk against her skin, how Lizzie stops her hands.

“Are you getting impatient?” asks Lizzie, calm and teasing as she looks at Hope. 

“You’re being annoying.”

“Bold words coming from someone who needs me.”

“I’ll do myself if you don’t do me in the next five minutes,” snaps Hope. 

Lizzie’s eyes widen in surprise before she chuckles, fingers skimming lower and Hope feels stars explode when she feels her fingers against where she needs them the most.

“So rude and for what?” says Lizzie out loud, dragging Hope’s panties low enough to have better movement of her hand.

That’s how Hope finds herself being fucked for the first time: on Lizzie Saltzman’s lap and under her mercy, feeling as if she was being burned alive from the inside out.

“More, oh _god-”_

Lizzie complies without much noise, a second finger going inside her and stretching her in the best of ways. She should be embarrassed by how her hips move and almost ride her hand, face thankfully hidden in Lizzie’s hair.

She’s desperate, can feel the warmth forming at the pit of her stomach as Lizzie’s fingers find _that_ spot. Lizzie is a quick learner, paying attention to what gets Hope to scream and moan her name, what gets her to dig her nails in Lizzie’s shoulders and make her shudder in pleasure.

“Hey, Hope,” murmurs Lizzie against her neck, laying soft, slow kisses there.

Hope barely manages to move her head, knowing she looked like a mess and yet, the glint in Lizzie’s eyes as the blonde stared at her made her feel like a goddess, worshiped in the best of ways.

“Look at me, won’t you?”

Hope nods her head and Lizzie smiles at her, small and comforting and so mesmerized as Hope manages to hold her stare when her thumb goes to her clit.

She thinks in those moments about how perhaps knowing how intense Lizzie’s gaze is, how she's breathing the same air as her and how she can’t stop looking at Hope is why she comes screaming, clenching around Lizzie’s fingers.

Lizzie doesn’t remove her fingers, let's Hope to ride her orgasm until her body falls limply against Lizzie’s.

The blonde murmurs a quick spell, smirking as Hope whines at the loss of her fingers inside her. A towel appears and Hope hums in appreciation at how warm it is as Lizzie cleans her.

“Such a gentlewoman,” whispers Hope, not finding enough energy to speak loudly.

Lizzie laughs softly, laying soft kisses everywhere her lips could. She feels her laugh against her chest as she hugs her close, Lizzie’s face stuck in her chest as Hope’s arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders.

“You’re such a baby,” says Lizzie, barely heard from Hope.

Hope doesn’t let her go, simply tightens her hold. Lizzie doesn’t say anything, only rubs her back, letting her have this moment. Hope being clingy wasn’t something she had seen before, and she knows well how one feels after their first time, especially someone like Hope, who had never felt it before.

Lizzie lays a kiss right where her heart is, and one more, and one more until she blows a raspberry which makes Hope laugh, pushing her away. 

“I’m way too tired to deal with your shit, Lizzie,” teases Hope. Lizzie rolls her eyes, fingers dancing up and down her ribcage. 

“Starting to think you need a therapist based on these mood changes.” 

Lizzie’s fond tone makes Hope smile softly, especially as the blonde makes her lay down. But she seems surprised when Hope shakes her head. 

“It’s your turn.”

Lizzie looks at her surprised. “You’re tired, it’s alright-”

She doesn’t finish her words as Hope kisses her silent. Hope enjoys how dazed Lizzie looks after the kiss.

“Show me what you want,” asks Hope, almost pleading. Lizzie’s eyes flutter closed and she nods her head, pulling Hope close again.

The mood lightens when Hope can’t seem to take her bra off, face red in nerves and annoyance. 

“What fucking bra do you have?” complains the girl. Lizzie half laughs half moans when Hope simply rips it apart, eyes widening when she sees Lizzie.

The blonde doesn’t shy away from her eyes, let's Hope to study her to the smallest detail.

And studying should never be this intimate, not when they’re still within these walls, not when every step further is leaps and bounds past what they should be able to get away with under the watchful eye of the Salvatore School.

Feels wicked, wondrous, worth millions to have this much of Lizzie bared for her, and that there’s only more to see is enough to stir the animal that lives deep in her soul.

Lizzie’s glorious, in a word, and Hope’s never been big on pride, but she reckons she understands why Lizzie isn’t shy about flaunting all she’s got. It’s not pride with Lizzie, it’s glory, and in Hope, it manifests as awe.

Admiration as she reaches out to touch, tentative but eager fingertips skirting a path down Lizzie’s sternum, stroking slowly over the swell of her breasts as if she doesn’t take her sweet time now she won’t ever have another chance in the future. 

Bliss when her skin prickles with heat, droplets of fire along her lifeline. 

Hunger when she understands wholly, truly, that at this moment Lizzie is hers and hers alone.

And she doesn’t want Lizzie, doesn’t even like her, thinks there are a hundred people with whom she’d rather spend her time, but —

_always a but_

— Lizzie is patient with her, kind, encouraging, and if that didn’t carry so much weight in a moment where she’s so vulnerable she’d be ready to mock Lizzie’s gentleness tenfold. 

Because Lizzie Saltzman would never lose a chance to get the upper hand, always hitting where it hurts. 

It’s almost funny how now she’s the complete opposite just for Hope.

Her breath shakes when Hope’s fingers reach her core, slow and Hope is sure Lizzie is going mad by it- she was when Lizzie was doing the same.

“That’s-” Hope likes how Lizzie’s hands grip her shoulders, “-just go faster.”

Hope nods her head, laying her body fully on top of her, arm resting beside her body to keep herself up. Her hand touches Lizzie fully then, heart skipping from how warm and wet Lizzie is.

“You’re so wet,” murmurs Hope. She lowers her head, lips finding Lizzie’s nipple the moment her fingers tease her wetness, slipping a finger slowly. 

Lizzie hugs her closer and Hope smiles against her skin, laying soft kisses wherever she can. She doesn’t rush herself, touches Lizzie to learn her the same way one learns a language.

Nails dig in her back as another finger slips in and she moves her hand, eyes meeting Lizzie’s, judging her emotions by how her breath picks up, how she moans when Hope lightly scratches her inner walls.

Lizzie is mesmerizing, cheeks flaring and eyes focused on Hope. Her lips are gasping out Hope’s name as if in prayer, eyes falling shut and lips meeting Hope’s when Hope’s palm meets her clit.

“Just like that, oh god-” moans Lizzie, head falling back. 

Hope takes that as an invitation, feeling for the first time the thirst a vampire has for blood. Lizzie’s neck is long and tense and Hope bites down like it will give her the chance to live forever.

When Lizzie’s hips move against her hand and her moans become louder, Hope knows she made the right choice. Lizzie’s skin is soft and it feels right to bite down, sucking until she’s sure that if she was a vampire, she’d be getting drunk on her blood by now.

That’s perhaps when she leans away, her eyes glow yellow and everything feels _intense._

She isn’t surprised when Lizzie comes, the blonde pulling her in to kiss her as she rides her hand until Hope takes it away. She stares for a moment as she wipes her hand with the towel Lizzie had left there. 

Lizzie looks absolutely fucked, from her messy hair to rosy cheeks and bruised lips and neck. Hope would feel bad if she didn’t enjoy how Lizzie seemed almost pleased with her.

“For a first-timer, I hate to say it but-” Lizzie moans satisfied as Hope fixes her pillow, “-you are annoyingly perfect.”

Hope laughs then and sits beside where Lizzie lies, drinking water from her bottle on the nightstand. Lizzie takes it after, and both of them take that moment to take everything in.

They had slept together. Lizzie had been Hope’s first time and both of them had enjoyed it.

“Don’t you ever stop overthinking?” complains Lizzie. Hope blinks at her, surprised but then smiles as Lizzie pulls her down. 

Hope lies by her side, still on her back and Lizzie sticks to her side like a koala, arm and leg thrown on top of Hope.

“Who could have thought that you’d be a small spoon?” teases Hope even if she wraps an arm around her, fingers trailing up and down her spine.

Lizzie bites down softly, smiling against her skin when Hope yelps in surprise.

“I’ll be a knife if you don’t let me sleep now,” murmurs Lizzie.

Hope doesn’t reply, kisses her forehead and closes her eyes.

She hates to admit it but when she wakes up, Lizzie’s hair almost choking her, it's possibly the best sleep she has had ever since her parents were alive.

Lizzie doesn’t run away in the morning but dresses slowly as Hope continues resting on her bed, complaining about Hope and how her clothes were crumpled from how she'd thrown them last night.

Hope gives her a goodbye kiss easily and it's almost that easy to fall down a thinking path where this was their normal life.

But ever the realist, Hope thinks about how like every fire, even this between them was bound to burn out.

* * *

The next morning Hope feels guilty. She doesn't even know about what. There’s this little voice inside her head (that sounds way too much like Alaric’s) that’s telling her that what she did was wrong. 

That what Lizzie and her did was wrong.

Yet, the fire that has always been aching in her heart feels lighter, as if Lizzie had calmed it down with her presence. 

She sees the blonde when she enters the cafeteria, sitting with MG and Josie and looking through her phone, almost bored. And if it wasn’t for the red scarf around her neck, Hope would have thought last night didn't happen at all, that it was all just a dream.

She’s on her way to their table when Landon calls out for her.

“Landon,” she greets him. He’s nervously holding a sad looking flower in his hand, “Is everything okay?”

“This is for you,” he starts, pushing the flower way too close to her face. The strong smell of it makes Hope grimace.

“Thanks?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out- you know, like, on a date.”

“A date?” she looks over to the table Lizzie is in and finds the blonde watching them curiously. Hope could swear there was a hint of anger on Lizzie’s eyes and it confused her.

She looks back to Landon standing in front of her, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

She thinks about him. Sweet, useless, innocent Landon. He’d probably open a window to let a fly leave instead of killing it. She is surprised when she ends up thinking about how Lizzie would probably catch it in the air and squeeze it to death. 

He’s safe. Comfortable. It can't be _that_ bad giving him a chance.

“Sure,” she answers finally, “I’d love to.”

She’s not looking at his big and hopeful smile when she answers, she’s watching the way Lizzie stands up from the table and leaves the cafeteria, a confused MG and Josie left in her wake.

She’s about to follow her when Landon’s face is on her way, smiling kindly, “So, tomorrow?”

“Uh- sure,” she says as she pats his shoulder and leaves, quick to follow the girl.

She’s not even sure why she’s doing it. They had said that the sex didn’t have to be anything more than just that- sex.

She searches the kitchen and the library, even though she knows Lizzie is going to be in her room. She’s not even sure what she wants to tell the blonde, or even why she’d want to talk to her.

Was she in the wrong for accepting a date with Landon? They hadn’t talked about how _this_ (whatever _this_ was) was going to work.

She knocks on Lizzie’s door, all the confidence she had on her body last night abandoning her. The last of it leaves her the moment she finds Lizzie wearing only a towel, hair wet and falling on her naked shoulders.

She looks down and miserably fails at not thinking of the way her hands felt in Lizzie’s bodies, her lips against hers. How that same body covered before her eyes was like a masterpiece for her eyes only the night before.

“Are you okay?” she says as Lizzie tugs her from her shirt to pull her inside. 

The blonde rolls her eyes, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lizzie’s voice is cold and distant, a big difference from the way she had softly guided Hope through everything the night before. Hope watches as she lets the towel fall to the floor and then puts on her underwear- she notices the small red marks her fingers had left on her waist.

“You sound bothered.”

Lizzie walks over to her, and Hope has to stop herself from putting her hands in the blonde’s waist.

“I’m not,” she clarifies yet her tone betrays her easily.

“Is it because Landon-” _asked me out,_ she was going to ask but Lizzie’s lips pressing against her own interrupted her.

Her hands quickly go to her hair and pull her closer. This kiss was different than the ones they shared last night, passionate to the brink of destruction.

Lizzie’s hands are harsh and her grip on Hope’s waist was strong- almost painful. She pushed her until her back hit the door. Hope lets out a small hiss when Lizzie bites on her lip, following by opening the door and shoving her out the room.

“Please, don’t start thinking I care about whatever you and that bad roasted chicken do together,” she says before slamming the door on Hope’s face.

That’s how Hope finds herself standing in the middle of the hallway alone, lips red and bruised and eyes wide. 

She’s on her way to her room, asking herself what the fuck just happened when Landon finds her again.

“Hey,” he says, way too loudly and excited. He looks her up and down and Hope thinks it’s not the same as when Lizzie does it, “Are you okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve got something on your lip.”

Hope’s hand goes to her mouth and feels the blood pouring out slowly from where Lizzie bit her, “Oh- yeah, I fell”

“On your lip?” 

She glares at him then and doesn’t feel guilty when Landon looks away. “Do I have to explain how I fall to you, Landon?”

“As long as you fall for me,” he laughs awkwardly and then drops his smile when Hope glares at him again. 

At his silence, Hope takes the conversation as finished and turns around to leave. She clenches her hands when he yells _see you tomorrow, Hope._

* * *

Maybe there is something about the way Hope feels on fire every time she's with Lizzie.

She doesn’t see the blonde for the rest of the day but once her mind lingered on her for too long (and her mind did that a lot), she felt as if the thought of her took her breath away. As if she was burning out and Lizzie was the oxygen and the gasoline at the same time.

So she can’t blame herself for hoping it's her when there's a knock on her door during the late night.

She considers not opening, maybe it's Landon trying to remind her of their date again- he had done that three times during the day and she's starting to lose it.

Hope jumps off the bed when she hears Lizzie yelling quietly to _open the goddamn door_.

“Lizzie?” she whispers, her mind reeling and panicking when she sees her. Lizzie only pushes past her, almost throwing herself inside.

Lizzie turns and walks closer once the door is closed and rests her hand on her cheek. Her finger slowly traces the place where her lip was broken today, thumb caressing her bottom lip for far more than she should have, her expression of concern changing into almost hunger. 

“I’m sorry about your lip,” she says, voice low and unsure.

“It’s okay, I heal quickly.”

“I still shouldn’t have done that, not without your permission.”

“Lizzie, it’s fine,” Hope touches the hand on her face and blushes a little, “I didn’t _not_ like it.”

Lizzie smirks and her hand moves from Hope’s cheek to the base of her neck. Looking into Hope’s eyes, and finding nothing but trust there, she grabs a handful of the reddish-brown hair and pulls- leaving her neck exposed.

The blonde leans down and starts to press long kisses along her neck, but they are sloppy and slow, a contrast to her usual precise and soft ones.

“Lizzie?” Hope asks as she reaches the place below her ear. She hears a hum in response. “Are you okay?”

She sighs and pulls back, her eyes wandering around the room, never stopping in Hope’s.

“I’m fine, just tired.”

“You should go back to your room. And sleep,” she says as she wraps her arms around her neck, hands dangling behind Lizzie’s head.

“Already kicking me out?”

Hope scoffs, “You know that’s not true. I like having you here.”

“I wonder why that is,” she teases. Hope can only roll her eyes, tilting her head towards the bed.

“Do you want to stay here, then? We don’t have to do anything.”

“Well, Emma _is_ making her rounds right now. I’d hate to get caught.”

She lets Hope pull her towards the bed, hands going under her jacket to help Lizzie take it off. Hope throws it on her chair and laughs softly as Lizzie pushes her to fall down.

It’s quiet. Way more quiet than it was last night, with their moans and small talks when they got stuck or Hope didn’t know how to keep going.

Lizzie stares at her, blue eyes so clear Hope wants to get closer and drown in the ocean that they were.

Maybe it's weird, the fact that they had had sex last night on this very bed and now they were simply about to do something as simple as sleep.

“Have you had sex with a lot of people?” Hope asks after a few minutes of silence, Lizzie snorts, “Don’t laugh- I’m just… curious.”

Lizzie smiles, it was somehow a bittersweet and sad smile all at the same time, “Only a few,” she answers, “I always thought I was waiting for the right one, you know? This person you’re supposed to feel safe and comfortable with.”

Lizzie laughs, a laugh void of any joy but instead filled with disappointment. Hope feels the anger inside of herself burn a little brighter at the fact that someone would make Lizzie feel as if sleeping with someone was nothing important. But then again, wasn’t that what she was doing? Using Lizzie for her own pleasure?

“I get it,” she says quietly after a moment, “you were waiting for your sun.”

“My what?” Lizzie smiles and it looks more like the way she was acting last night than she did this morning.

“Nothing, just something my mom used to say.”

Hope looks away, finds the small frame of her mother on the shelf and tightly closes her eyes when the words _have at least one epic love_ come to her mind.

Lizzie continues as if she hadn't been interrupted at all, Hope thinks she noticed her discomfort and she’s grateful she doesn’t have to explain anything.

“And when I thought I found the one, it only took him a few days to dump me. So now I don't really care that much about what I do- with who I do it.”

She finishes talking, leaning in closer, a smirk on her face, and Hope can feel her kiss before their lips touch.

When she pulls away, her lips are on a small, tired smile. Hope doesn’t think too much, grabs her hand and pulls it on her chest, hugging it against her body.

“Well, for being my first time, I don’t think I would’ve had any better than you,” murmurs Hope.

Lizzie rolls her eyes but Hope doesn’t miss the blush on her cheeks.

“I’m certainly going to be better than the chicken,” she says and Hope has to suppress a groan because, yeah, she _had_ accepted that date.

Lizzie teases her further, hand moving to Hope’s back, pulling her close as her other arm went under her pillow.

“At least you know how being touched the right way feels like,” whispers Lizzie.

“Shut up Lizzie, weren’t we going to sleep?” She bites her lip to hide her blush and lets out a small sigh when Lizzie agrees with her and closes her eyes.

Hope doesn’t close them, spends a few moments just taking in Lizzie’s beauty. She's beautiful, especially now that Hope can stare all she wanted to and take in each detail of her beauty.

“Weren’t we going to sleep?” mocks Lizzie, eyes still closed. 

Hope only blows air on her face, Lizzie’s smile the last thing she sees before closing her eyes.

* * *

Her relationship with love has always been complicated.

She loved her mom, more than anything in the world.

She loved the rest of her family before she even knew them, the stories and pictures of them reminding her of her own blood and inner fire.

She loved them in those few months she got to spend with them, all happy and no idea of the demons around her. She didn’t realize she should have etched those moments better in her head until her family was scattered around the world.

She still felt their love, always present, always strong. 

But video calls with her aunt and uncle weren’t the same as having Kol touch her cheek softly or Rebekah braid her hair as she’s sitting in her lap. Stories of Elijah weren’t the same as having him take her out for a milkshake and car rides.

Looking at the painting she did with her dad wasn’t the same as having her dad paint with her, looking at her with proud eyes and soft smiles.

So yeah, she loves her family. She loves them with a burning passion, one that still burns even when she reads book after book about her father’s misdoings, about how everyone paints him as a villain.

Sometimes she wants it to stop. Wants her love for her father to burn out so the guilt in her heart for loving him would stop too.

She remembers asking her mother about love a lot. Ever since she was a child and wasn’t sure if an absentee father like hers would love her as much as her mother claimed he did.

She would ask her mother and Hayley would answer with a smile and a wistful look in her eyes.

“There are loves that are beautiful and loves that are painful, but you should never be scared to love,” she’d whisper to her as they were lying in bed and Hope had had a nightmare again, “because some loves are like sunlight, and you’re going to love the person that’s your sun _so much_ , you’ll feel like you can do anything.”

Her mother forgot to mention that when you stay too much time under the sun, it starts to burn you, makes you want to scratch your skin off and leaves you one skin layer less every time.

So when she looks at Landon and feels no burns, she thinks it’s better to date a cloudy sunless sky, one that will bring no pain or destruction, than one that will. Because for a person who has been hurt her entire life, an easy love with no pain is exactly the thing Hope wants.

But Lizzie is there. There in every hallway and in every waking moment of her life. She’s in the beignets Hope finds in her meal sometimes, in the notes she forgets to take but finds in her bag, in the jacket she wears and isn’t hers.

Lizzie is constant and affecting her life in a way that could only resemble the sun.

And Hope is smart enough to know that sometimes, choosing what you want is better than what you need. 

Even if you have to settle down.

So she entertains Landon. He isn’t that bad, makes her laugh and buys her favorite milkshake. He’s a constant she can sometimes forget the existence of, milkshake glass thrown on the sink and flowers left to wither on the trash.

He’s enough. That’s what matters for her.

Yet, the Mikaelson genes sometimes shine upon her. Her selfishness shows when instead of stopping to give Landon hope for more or telling Lizzie to stop whatever they have, she finds a balance to have both. 

Hope smiles at Landon with guilt in her chest and lets herself be pulled in an empty closet by Lizzie’s hands. She knows it isn’t fair, but blame her for wanting to not hurt anyone and find peace in her heart.

Hope finds herself in a state of limbo between the kindness she so desperately wants and Landon gives, and her need to be burned in a fire she only can with Lizzie. 

She knows one day her fire will expand and end up hurting more than one person, but that little voice in her head stops her, tells her to get what she wants and that stops her from doing what she knows it’s the right thing.

And it’s that voice perhaps that makes her end up making out with Lizzie in an empty classroom when she knows she should be getting ready for another date with Landon. 

But Lizzie is biting her neck in a way only she can and Hope’s only thoughts are that there are too many clothes between them. Not the fact that she’s moving her hands along the inside of Lizzie’s thighs, or that they’re in a classroom and someone could walk in at any moment.

“I got-” she breathes out as Lizzie drags her nails down her thighs, “-I got a date.”

Instead of moving away, Lizzie shuts her up with a kiss, hands moving to tug Hope’s shirt out of her skirt, skipping under it immediately.

“Cancel it,” she whispers against her lips.

Lizzie’s hands gripped her sides, thumbs tracing the faint outline of her abs.

"I think it would be fine if I arrive a little late," she's breathless and can hear the way her voice raises as one of Lizzie's hands approaches her underwear more and more, "gotta play hard to get and all that."

Lizzie only raises her head, eyes lit by emotions Hope can’t understand. That’s all it took for her hand to skip her panties and then all Hope could do was close her mouth, legs wrapping around Lizzie’s waist.

“You’re hard to please, aren’t you?” says Lizzie, fingers playing Hope like a violin.

Hope continues keeping her stare, hands skipping to rest on each side of Lizzie’s head. She doesn’t let Lizzie look away, keeps her so focused on her that all the blonde can do is think about her, think about how Hope feels as she gets fucked.

“I’m doing what’s best.”

Lizzie raises an eyebrow and Hope’s eyes flutter closed, head raising when Lizzie adds another finger. She’s sure the blonde will get a cramp from how close their bodies are.

“And that’s playing with the hobbit? Or is that one of your favorite past times?”

Hope digs her nails in Lizzie’s scalp, enjoys how the fingers inside her move faster and harder, almost as if Lizzie wanted to fuck her to death. She’d like that, Lizzie being the reason she’d simply become more powerful than she already was.

Landon could never, she thinks, and almost hates herself for it, until Lizzie’s fingers stroke her just so and all reservations she had about leading Landon down her wicked path crumble to dust.

And maybe she shouldn’t have reservations about not having reservations, but she’s never been one to let go of strings. The string she’s got Landon on, pulled, however, taut, is beginning to cut her conscience with each dip and twist of Lizzie’s fingers, and it feels like being set ablaze from the inside out.

Hope doesn’t want to hurt Landon, he’s never done her wrong, doesn’t deserve that, and to hurt him like she was would be a twist of the knife deep in his chest and Hope isn’t ready to draw blood. 

She knows the adrenaline is gonna wear off soon, but she’ll keep the knife deep inside of him for as long as Lizzie helps her keep it in place. She knows Lizzie is not letting go any time soon.

Perhaps those medical books were right, if you stab someone, the least you can do is not draw the knife and kill them.

And she doesn’t want to let Lizzie go either, doesn’t want to have to choose between them, but the further Lizzie drags her to the edge of bliss the more she thinks the decision would be so easy if only Landon had a fraction of the power Lizzie’s got over her.

“I hate you,” gasps out Hope. Lizzie rolls with it, touches her harder and she’s a mess, begging for more and hating Lizzie for making her want more.

“Keep lying to yourself.”

Lizzie twists her fingers, digging and hitting a spot inside her that makes Hope see stars, mouth open and letting out a moan Lizzie can keep down only by kissing her. Lizzie grounds her, hands resting in her thighs and sticky fingers almost burning her skin.

“It really is what’s best,” she tries to excuse herself, breathless, “can’t have anyone think we’re anything more than frenemies, can we?”

Lizzie shuts her up by kissing her again, harder this time, as if her teeth biting Hope’s bottom lip will make her forget whatever they were talking about. 

Maybe Hope should have noticed those things, how Lizzie got on edge and fucked her harder or when she went slow as if something was holding her back.

She doesn’t.

It’s possibly why the threads she holds tight in her hand start drawing blood, both pulling and Hope, stubborn as ever, holding her ground.

It’s a tragedy waiting to happen. Jump over one hole and fall in another.

She watches as Lizzie fixes her clothes and two minutes later she doesn’t look as if she was fucking Hope’s brains out- Hope has to admit it is kind of hot, how easily she can move on and hide what they do.

Lizzie doesn’t say nor kisses her goodbye, as she had done a few times. Hope doesn’t ask for one either, she stays in the desk alone for a few more minutes, asking herself why her heart feels so heavy.

That’s probably when everything slowly starts to change.

* * *

When she looks at Lizzie, she thinks about what Rebekah used to tell her about the gods.

Her family had always had a special enjoyment about greek gods and mythology. It’s not surprising that Rebekah, the epitome of a rose, beautiful and dangerous, would tell her about Aphrodite. And Hope, like the rest of them, longed for the world in which a god could pass by and give you something- she had always wanted for Aphrodite to bless her with love.

_Aphrodite was never the goddess of love_ , Rebekah had told her once- laughing at Hope’s curious eyes. _She was the goddess of passion, of heat, of a fire which you’d burn alive and enjoy the burning of._

_Isn’t that bad? Mom said that we should always make sure to keep peace._ She had been such a naive child back then, knowing the darkness of the world yet following her mother’s lesson blindly.

Rebekah had smiled at her kindly, always ready to teach her more about good and bad, the only person who could do it so easily. Hope knows, now, it was because she had seen so much of it she knew it by heart.

_There is beauty in destruction, in chaos. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. It’s the same with Aphrodite. She’s the goddess of a beauty so chaotic that it makes you wish to be burned in her flames, to claw your soul out of your skin just to feel the heat more._

Hope thinks about her words even years later. 

She had been right back then, there was beauty in chaos, in having power over people just because. It had been something she was sure Klaus used to feel, a feeling she keeps hidden in a small corner of her heart.

Lizzie reminds her of Aphrodite. Beautiful, so strong and almost forbidden, a person Hope feels guilty of yearning about.

She trusts her mother’s lessons even now, that peace and comfort was better than chaos you couldn’t control.

But then she thinks of Lizzie. Of how she doesn’t hold Hope in a pedestal, has seen Hope for who she is, a girl yearning to be burned by something she can’t control.

Perhaps that’s why she allows herself only some short moments with her. It’s one thing to enjoy chaos, it’s another to make sure you don’t lose yourself in it.

If Landon was like the earth, constant and _there_ , not changing and just letting her in her own, Lizzie was fire, a fire shown in stolen kisses and a tight grasp of Hope’s heart in her hand.

_Aphrodite found that one thing that she enjoyed more than capturing hearts, was crushing them in the palm of her hands._

That’s possibly why she doesn’t let herself think of Lizzie for more than in those fleeing moments they pass together.

She knows they wouldn’t last. Lizzie is the only one who can light something in her that it’d be bad if it went on for too long.

Yet every time they are together she can’t think of these things, can’t think of the way together they’d make the world a second Rome.

So she decides to think of other things. She thinks of how beautiful Lizzie looks under the red glow of her siphoning as she kisses Hope and how she feels one with the blonde. It’s like she’s taking the power out of her and burning both of them with it- Hope can’t help but think of how tragically accurate that is.

It’s also what she’s thinking when Lizzie’s cloudy eyes meet hers, head tilting to her room.

She has Lizzie trapped between herself and her bedroom wall after five minutes, an excuse about taking her mind off things slipping from her lips. 

Hope knew _everything_ was the rumours starting again, and yet she doesn’t ask if she’s okay or if she wants to talk.

If Lizzie is a goddess as Hope thought of her, all Hope could do was sink in her knees and worship her until all Lizzie could think and talk of was Hope, Hope, _Hope-_

It was crazy to her sometimes, how people think Lizzie was cold and heartless when all Hope felt from her was a warmth that made her skin turn red. 

How can everyone see Lizzie as a winter blizzard when all she is for Hope is a hot summer breeze?

“Thanks,” she says once Hope stands up and clears her mouth with the back of her hand. 

Hope smiles and lets Lizzie pull her in for a kiss, her lips soft and lazy against Hope’s. Lizzie, she had noticed, was always softer after Hope had her way with her. It is as if all her walls are down then, a space where Hope can touch and enjoy the softness of her heart.

Hope makes to talk but the knock on the door shocks them out of the moment. Landon’s voice comes from behind it and they stare at each other, Hope panicked and Lizzie questioning.

“Go to the bathroom,” hisses Hope, pushing her away from the door.

Lizzie scrunches her face, annoyingly staying in place. “Absolutely _not._ Don’t you dare hide me like this, Mikaelson.”

And the thread tenses, and with each knock of Landon’s it feels as if its a bomb dropping, Hope left in the middle of a battlefield from her own selfishness-

“I hate you,” says Lizzie after a moment and turns to the bathroom, closing the door and Hope feels like she can breathe again, even if it hurts when she opens her door for Landon.

Landon smiles at her widely, hands on his pockets and resting against the doorstep. He’s calmness itself, Hope notices. Unlike the anxious and loud thumping of her heartbeat.

If Lizzie was in his place, she’d already enter Hope’s room with no question asked. 

Hope doesn’t know if she likes that or not.

“Hey,” she says, eyes focused on the boy. Landon shrugs and raises his hand, a piece of paper on it.

“I uh- there is this concert type of thing the wolves will do tomorrow night. Was wondering if you want to join me?” 

His smile makes her feel bad for wanting to reject him. He seems excited and if anything, he deserves her to at least _try_. She had been the one to accept going out with him.

(She doesn’t think about how it’d be just another stone on her back, another reason to disappoint Landon, another reason to risk herself being burned by Lizzie.)

“Sure, why not?” she says, smiling at him.

He smiles brightly again and the guilt sits on her chest because she’s telling him yes, giving him the end of the rope while asking Lizzie to hold on to the other end. She knows eventually the rope will give out, and she doesn’t want to think of who will get hurt the most then.

He looks at her lips before leaving. He does that a lot, she notices, yet never makes a move to actually kiss her. Hope doesn’t know if she should be thankful or annoyed. It’s like he’s walking on eggshells with her, careful like if he steps too surely she’ll break under him. 

Lizzie’s heavy steps bring her back to reality, when she looks at her she’s already fully dressed and looking as if nothing had happened.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” Lizzie’s voice is harsh again and Hope sighs when she realizes whatever moment they were having was broken.

“I thought- well, I thought you were gonna do me now?”

Lizzie stares at her in silence, disbelief on her face.

“You’re _such_ an asshole.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes and scoffs all at the same time and leaves the room, leaving a confused Hope behind her.

Hope starts to think she’s like Icarus then. Going after what she knows will kill her, and yet she can’t stop.

_You want to be like Persephone_ , Kol had told her while she watched him prepare a potion, _to be loved tenderly by a God. To have the power to wield in their kingdom._

_But isn’t that selfish? To use someone’s love against them?_ Her uncle had laughed slowly and kneeled in front of her, like every time he did when he was about to tell her a secret.

_Love is always a little bit selfish, my love. If you think about it relationships are all narcissistic; basically, you’re just looking for someone who’ll love you as much as you love yourself, maybe even more._

She hadn’t understood it then, his words cruel and almost vile. But as she takes Landon’s hand with the same one she had been holding Lizzie’s head hours ago, she begins to understand.

Maybe she prefers Lizzie because her love is the same as Hope’s, volatile and dangerous: fated to blow up.

Maybe that’s why when Landon is kind and sweet to her, it doesn’t sit well with her, perhaps she doesn’t love herself enough to be kind to herself either.

But she doesn’t care for what hurts more, what makes her _feel_ more.

Choosing Landon is simply the right choice. Even if she can’t find a reason beside her logic to excuse that.

* * *

The party is loud, a rock song blaring from the speakers around the woods. Landon and her get there late enough that many drinks have been thrown into the grass, leaving small patches of mud that Hope keeps walking into. 

She almost wants to take away the silencing spell around the place so Alaric could hear and call the party off.

Landon’s trying to talk to her over the music, something about a new movie he had seen and wasn’t real life accurate. His breath is warm on Hope’s ear and she’s fighting herself to not push him away and tell him to wash his teeth.

Everything stops when she sees Lizzie.

She’s wearing a black dress that fits in her body in all the right places and makes her legs look fantastic, and by her confident walk, Hope can tell she notices everyone’s eyes on her as she passes by.

She doesn’t see Hope- or if she does, she doesn’t show it- she walks over to one of the few rounds of people and sits way too close to Alyssa Chang for it to be friendly.

Hope is surprised when the girl, instead of pushing her away, smirks in Lizzie’s direction and rests her hand on her thigh. Anger runs through her veins and for a moment she wonders if she had drunk enough to be able to blame it on the alcohol if she throws Alyssa into a pile of dirt. 

“We should go over there,” she says to Landon.

“What?” he looks at her as if she had grown another head, “Those are like the mafia, you can’t go in there unless they invite you.”

“I’m sure a phoenix and a tribrid can get in, come on.”

She takes his hand and pulls him to the group, and Landon, because he’s Landon, lets her.

They look at them curiously when they sit down in one of the fallen branches but continue with what they were doing after a few seconds. Turns out it was never have I ever.

Kaleb, the one that had chosen the game, looks at her with excitement and laughter in his eyes- as if he knew something one else in the room did.

“Imma start easy for the newbies,” he says looking at Hope and Landon, “Never have I ever made out with someone.”

“Oh, come on dude you haven’t?” Jed’s voice was heard above the groans and complaints of everyone.

“Okay okay,” Kaleb raises his hands in surrender, “Never have I ever sent nudes.”

Hope stays still, as does Landon and a few others, but most of the people raise their cups and Hope eyes Lizzie curiously when she does too. Lingers for a second on how they’d be like, if Lizzie would be lying on bed or standing up, if her hair would fall on waves on her naked body and she’d be biting her lip or if it would simply be a picture of her own hand going-

“Never have I ever been skinny dipping,” Jed speaks over the music as he winked at one of the boys in front of him, interrupting her trail of thoughts.

Hope watches as Alyssa drinks and leans in closer to Lizzie’s ear- whatever she says makes a slight blush show up in Lizzie’s cheeks. She’s only stunned out of her anger when she sees Landon raise his cup.

“You’ve been skinny dipping?”

“It was more like, thrown into it in summer camp by some guys,” he answers with a grimace, “that counts, right?”

She’s about to tell him that no, she doesn’t think it does, when Alyssa’s melodic voice cuts effortlessly through the conversations.

“Never have I ever had sex on a classroom,” she raises her cup instantly and looks in Lizzie’s direction, their eyes connected as the blonde drinks- Hope could see the fire in their gaze and she wanted nothing more than to be water and make it disappear. 

It’s only then that she realizes she _has_ had sex in a classroom and brings her cup to her lips, the alcohol strong in her unaccustomed throat.

“Oh, wow,” Kaleb shouts from his place, “Miss Mikaelson isn’t as clean as she seems to be.”

“Oh, come on,” Lizzie says lazily, “I bet she’s only drinking to seem cool, or maybe she’s just thirsty.”

The blonde wins a couple of laughs from the round and when Alyssa curls a bit more into her body, Hope clenches her hands.

“Nope,” she looks directly at Lizzie- gaze strong and firm, “I have to say, the school desks are not so comfortable for extracurricular activities.”

Everyone laughs and Kaleb happily raises from his place to kiss Hope in the head. 

She misses the next round when Landon speaks to her. 

“Did you really have sex on a classroom?” His voice is confused, almost hurt and Hope remembers again how much pain she _was_ causing him, even if he didn’t know.

“Yeah-”

“Never have I ever faked an orgasm.”

Lizzie’s voice cuts through the conversations, slow and eyes half opened. By then, she was completely leaned against Alyssa, the girl resting an arm on her back.

Blue meets blue and Hope feels like being a bitch about it, perhaps trying to hurt Lizzie’s feelings. The shot hurts her more, especially when Lizzie’s expression changes to something akin to confusion.

“Birdie boy doesn’t seem to be as good as he looks huh?” teases Alyssa, eyes trained in Hope’s.

Landon looks offended, and if Hope was a good person, she’d comfort him, or even get him out of there. But she’s too focused on Lizzie’s face and her throat burns from more than just the alcohol.

“Landon is more than good enough.”

She can hear the gasps from some people and can see how Landon looks at her in shock from the corner of her eyes.

But it isn’t about him then. Nor is it about comforting him or protecting her and Lizzie’s secret.

It’s about hurting Lizzie, just to know the blonde felt the same way as she did.

“Better than that classroom sex you had, Mikaelson?” says Lizzie, the question with enough bitterness that nobody would even be suspicious about its second meaning.

Hope thinks then. Of how Lizzie felt against her, pink lips against her throat and fingers playing inside Hope as if it was her most played instrument.

And thinks of Landon, who can’t even gather the courage to kiss her just once.

They’re polar opposites. Perhaps that's why she prefers Landon over Lizzie’s fire.

Because only by looking at her and Alyssa does Hope realize that Lizzie is the kind of fire that burns and _hurts._

“I’m done with this game.”

Her tone is final and when she grabs Landon’s hand, he follows her with no question asked. She likes that about him, to be honest.

Hope walks them to the school and doesn’t look around to see if anyone has noticed them. Landon is quiet too, until they reach her room.

“Hope?”

Hope only closes the door and turns to him, making him walk back until he falls on her bed, sitting there. She straddles him easily and she _hates_ how she remembers doing the same to Lizzie.

Landon is, of course, different from Lizzie. His hands are slow as he places them on her hips, so lightly that Hope nearly doesn’t feel them there. He lets her dictate what they are doing, lets her control the situation and his eyes look at her, anticipation clear on them.

His green eyes remind Hope of the trees in the woods, of how they flutter closed when Hope reaches her hands on his hair, curly hair so different from flowy blonde locks.

When he raises his head, Hope captures his lips softly.

Kissing Landon isn’t as bad as she thought it’d be. He kisses her as if she’s the most fragile thing, slow and nice and Hope doesn’t mind going slow for once. 

But his lips don’t burn against hers, nor do they kiss her as if they were made to kiss her lips. He’s a calm wind but Hope would be a fool if she said she enjoyed that more than the burning fire she felt with Lizzie.

This was good though. Hope could settle for this, could learn to enjoy this calmness Landon made her feel when they kissed.

“Whoa,” he says when they break the kiss. She smiles down at him and it almost hurts how she doesn’t feel like studying his green eyes who stare at her with so much emotion-

He leans into her again and captures her lips. He keeps his hands softly on her hips and Hope thinks there's the big difference between him and Lizzie; while he waits and takes what Hope gives him, Lizzie takes and _takes_ because she knows that's what Hope wants.

After a while, when Hope feels more tired than relaxed, she walks him out, giving an excuse about early training with Alaric. He’s respectful, nods his head, smiles at her when they’re outside her room.

That’s when she notices Lizzie. She stands in the hallway, talking with someone from inside the room beside Hope’s, one she knows belongs to Alyssa.

“Good-”

She interrupts Landon by pulling him in, kissing him with possibly more fire than she had the entire night. Her eyes are open as they meet Lizzie’s, who stares back with no emotion in hers.

Hope breaks the kiss and caresses his cheeks with her thumbs, smiling widely. “A goodbye kiss for the night.”

He grins and leaves with a red face and Hope doesn’t look at him anymore.

“It seems you weren’t lying at the game.”

Lizzie walks towards her and stands a respectful distance away, arms crossed under her chest and Hope is proud of her self control to not let her eyes trail down. Her black dress is sinfully beautiful under the low lights of the school.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business."

Lizzie rolls her eyes and pushes her into her room. Once the door is locked and the tension between them could be cut with a knife, the blonde walks closer to her.

She looks down at Hope and she hates that one single look from her makes her feel more than an entire make out session with Landon.

"It is if you were faking it while we were together."

"What makes you think I was talking about you?"

Hope thanks whatever god is out there that made her voice feel strong and not quiver under Lizzie's gaze.

Her blue eyes flash with a feeling Hope doesn't understand and before she can tell what's happening Lizzie rests a hand on her neck and pulls her close.

Her kiss is urgent, angry and almost desperate, she’s kissing Hope hard enough that she can’t even remember how Landon’s lips felt against hers. Hope can already tell her lips will be bruised after they're done.

Lizzie's arms push her hard and Hope falls on the bed with a thump. When she looks up, almost in a trance after Lizzie's kiss, Lizzie is staring at her with hungry eyes. She steps closer confidently and raises the ends of her dress to sit in Hope's lap.

They stare in silence at each other, Hope’s hands resting on her pale thighs, feeling the soft skin and enjoying how different it was than if she had done this with Landon.

She doesn’t even think it’d be this way with Landon, or even if it could.

“I want you to stop being such a bitch, Lizzie.”

Hope smirks when Lizzie pulls her hair, raising her head and she grips at her thighs tighter, nails digging in her soft skin.

“And I just want you to fuck me, Hope- _”_ Lizzie’s lips lean close to her ear, “-Andrea-” Hope shudders as her lips bite down gently, “- _Mikaelson.”_

Hope barely controls herself to not take Lizzie right there and then. Instead she grins, eyes turning gold and staying that way.

"What happened?" she asks as her hands move Lizzie’s dress until it's crumbled at her waist, "Alyssa couldn't please you enough? Maybe you're the one that has been faking it."

Lizzie moves closer and Hope can barely look up with the blonde’s chest taunting her right before her eyes.

“Just felt like doing charity for you. Not really believing you would have been satisfied alone.”

Hope hums, her smile hedonistic, hands trailing up and down Lizzie’s thigh till they rest where she can feel Lizzie’s heat.

“What is it that you want, Lizzie?”

Lizzie’s hands twist at her hair, thumbs on her cheeks, keeping Hope’s eyes on her. She doesn’t close her eyes as Hope’s fingers meet her wetness, slipping in without much thought.

“I just want you to do what you do best.”

She twists her fingers, takes pleasure in seeing Lizzie’s facade drop and the need to be pleasured coming first. She’d be stupid to think Hope wouldn’t torture her now that she could, wouldn’t touch her in each and every place she knew would make Lizzie sing.

“And that is? Being your little servant?” mocks Hope. Lizzie stares at her with wide eyes, fingers tightening in her hair at the same time Hope hits another spot inside her.

“Or do you want me to leave you the way you deserve to be left? No orgasm-” she lays a soft kiss under her chin, “-no nothing?”

Lizzie seethes and her fingers curl, knees digging in Hope’s bed, legs open and left for Hope to touch, for Hope to enjoy.

“Want to roleplay how you’d be left if Landon did this with you?” snaps Lizzie, voice barely a gasp when Hope’s palm meets her clit.

It’s only then that Hope feels this urge in her.

She can hear Lizzie’s blood rush in her ears more than ever, as if it was a river right before Hope. It’s dizzying and her tongue slips out, licking a trail up and down Lizzie’s neck vein as her hand works Lizzie up to an orgasm.

Something in her snaps when Lizzie pulls her head closer to her neck. It's only when she has Lizzie's vein throbbing against her lips does she realize the feeling.

Lizzie screams as Hope fangs sink in, the blonde keeping Hope’s lips against her neck, riding her orgasm and Hope’s hand hard enough that she’d probably get a wrist cramp. 

Lizzie’s blood is warm against her lips, warm and tasting like the best thing Hope could ever taste in her life. It’s like oxygen, slips through her tongue and she swallows in huge gasps, finds life and death in it.

Being a dead being had never tasted better than when she was getting drunk on Lizzie’s essence.

She doesn’t stop until she is ripped away by Lizzie pushing her away.

“Hope, what the _fuck?”_

She blinks at Lizzie, and then it all falls apart.

Hope feels the metallic taste on her lips and when she raises her fingers, the fangs are sharp against them. Her hand shakes when she feels the veins under her eyes, the golden glow of her eyes still not gone.

“Lizzie…?” she whispers, frozen and she knows she looks freaked out when Lizzie grasps her face in her hands.

"Hope, you're…" she wipes away some of the blood on her chin, a worried expression on her face, "how did this happen?"

"I- I don't know," she stumbles on her words.

She can see her golden eyes reflecting on Lizzie's blue eyes how her neck is still bleeding from the sharp punctures of her fangs.

"What do you mean you don't know? _You’re a vampire_."

" _I don’t know_!"

Her words come as a shout and a wave of magic leaves her body, sending Lizzie away from her lap into the floor close to the door. Hope stares at her in shock as Lizzie gets up slowly, lowering her dress and staring at Hope.

"Shit, Lizzie. I'm sorry-"

She gasps when Lizzie pulls her up by her shirt. Hope hates her height then, coming face to face with Lizzie’s still bleeding neck.

Lizzie’s hands move to her neck, caressing Hope’s skin softly. “Drink some more and calm down.”

Hope shakes her head, tears slipping from her eyes as she closed her mouth, her fangs scratching the inner skin of her mouth. Lizzie didn’t seem scared, but Hope knew first hand just how dangerous this was.

“I’ll drink your blood and heal, alright?” murmurs Lizzie. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t calm down.”

Hope stares at Lizzie, how there isn’t a hint of fear in her eyes even if Hope nearly sucked her dry. The tribrid gasps when she opens her mouth, hand flying on the back of Lizzie’s neck, fangs sinking in once again.

She rests her other hand on Lizzie’s waist, pulling closer, and gives a satisfacted hum when Lizzie moans softly. The blood tastes even better now, like water for a traveler who’d been stuck in the desert for weeks.

If at first she was overtaken by the euphoria of Lizzie’s moans and voice and everything, her only focus now was on this. On Lizzie’s hand in the back of her head, of how warm she tasted and felt under her, _in her._

Hope knows enough is enough when Lizzie goes limp on her arms, head resting on top of Hope’s. She pulls back with all the self control she has, not wasting a moment to sink her teeth in her own wrist.

The power she feels is almost insane, having Lizzie laid on the bed and sucking on her wrist in seconds. Lizzie sucks her blood with a grimace until Hope sees the color returning to her cheeks, the holes in her neck closing.

Hope lays down on the bed and softly touches Lizzie’s neck for a second. She kisses her, soft and slow, almost as an apology of some kind. Lizzie kisses her back, hand resting on her cheek and holding her close, not letting her pull back.

She feels like she’s burning up and Lizzie’s blood, Lizzie’s kisses, _Lizzie_ is the reason for it, almost as if it was vervain- but instead of killing her, it was burning her alive.

They lay side by side after the kiss, the sheets thrown on top of them and the pillows covered by the tangles of their hairs, both of them taking in what had happened.

The shock wasn’t completely gone but it changed to something tense, almost painful in the pit of Hope’s chest.

Lizzie looks calm with her eyes closed and a hand on her stomach, the dark green of Hope’s sheets contrasting with her black dress and pale arms. She knows she’s about to fall asleep when the side of Lizzie’s smirk falls and she opens her mouth a little bit to breathe better. 

Hope finds it incredible, that she’s seeing the way the walls around Lizzie crumple as she goes into slumber. It feels too intimate yet at the same time she can’t look away and stop the image from warming her heart.

She feels guilty, scared, shocked- how could Lizzie be so calm after all that?

“What are you thinking about? You’re being loud,” murmurs Lizzie.

Hope smiles weakly at her, the questions on the tip of her tongue. She’s scared to ask, scared to even know the answer.

“Do you ever feel lonely?” Hope asks instead.

Lizzie frowns at being snapped out of her calmness but she doesn’t open her eyes. Knowing she was listening, she continued.

“Like- out of place. Like you don’t belong.”

She doesn’t really know why she’s asking. 

It was something that had been in the back of her mind for a few days now. It started when she entered the cafeteria and didn’t know where to sit, feeling her throat dry when she saw everyone laughing and no one asking her to sit with them.

It was stupid. She had spent most of her years at school eating alone at one of the furthest away tables or in the gardens.

She had spent her childhood in a house deep into the woods with just her mother and the usual visit of her grandma Mary. 

Hope never made any friends here, regardless of the way the Saltzman twins had tried. She kept the lonely wolf persona for as long as she was there and wished for the moment she could go back to New Orleans. 

And yet, there, she still felt alone. Freya and Keelin would always be in their bubble and her mother finding someone to be with too.

Hope had nothing, no one, that she could say was _hers_.

_This is who I belong with_ , she aches to scream one day.

Then her family returned and there was a bit of a silver lightning, a small moment in which she thought she would belong somewhere.

_This has been the best day ever. You guys got a thousand years of moments like this one. And being part of this one really made me feel like I’m part of “always and forever”, too._

But her mother’s and father’s deaths burned that little bit of hope she still had inside and destroyed her until she was just a lost part of a puzzle, walking around until one day someone would tell her she’s the missing piece they were looking for.

She couldn’t help but feel hopeless most of the time- the irony wasn’t lost on her. 

And now, with her sudden knowledge that she had apparently _died_ and somehow her vampire side had been asleep until now had only weighed down her issues, making her feel even more of a cosmic mistake than she usually felt.

“I do,” Lizzie whispers back- and she’s thankful her eyes are still closed when Hope feels a tear roll down her cheek, “It’s hard not to. I feel out of place when everyone’s laughing at a stupid magic joke I don’t get because I haven’t learned that spell yet. I feel lonely when Josie leaves, even though I know we can’t be together all the time. I feel lonely when my dad’s with you and when my mom promises she’ll be back for Christmas and she isn’t.”

Lizzie ends abruptly, as if she’s surprised she said that at all, but she still lets out a breath- like a weight has been lifted off her.

“Why do you ask?” Lizzie turns around and finally opens her eyes- the blue in them is dark between curiosity and tiredness.

_I don’t think I’ve ever felt lonely around you_ , she almost says. _I found out I’m an activated tribrid and I don’t feel like ripping my own skin off and running off to never return. You make me want to turn against my instinct and stay._

But when she shrugs her shoulders, helpless to even form an answer, Lizzie takes her hand and holds it tight. She understands her, no words needed.

Hope hates and loves to think that their hands fit together like the last pieces of a puzzle.

“Do you ever think-“

“Mm?” Hope looks at her curiously. Lizzie’s grasp on her hand goes slack and she lets it rest on her stomach.

She doesn’t look at Hope as she speaks, focuses her attention on playing with Hope’s fingers.

“Isn’t there _anyone_ enough to not make you feel lonely?”

Hope pauses and leans closer, until her lips meet Lizzie’s shoulders to rest there.

Landon is, could have been her reply. With his lame jokes and soft kisses. She’s sure that if she let him, he’d make her the centre of the universe.

If she tried, if she actually put work into loving him, perhaps he could be her sun too.

He’d understand her being an activated tribrid, joke about how they were both immortal. She’d laugh and let his softness heal her scars like a bandaid. She doesn’t want to think about how that won’t fix her, anyway.

“I haven’t found my sun yet. Unless you count-“

“Landon,” Lizzie cuts her off. Hope nods her head, eyes still focused on the hickey she’d left at Lizzie’s neck, the bite still not fully healed.

Her hand moves at Lizzie’s stomach, tapping an easy tune Elijah taught her how to play on the piano once.

“Maybe,” Lizzie’s voice is low as she speaks, “you have been looking at just a star all this time to pretend he’s the sun.”

Her fingers stop right when she’s sure she’d be hitting the final note.

When she raises her head, leaning on her elbow, Lizzie is looking towards her window, eyes thoughtful.

“Has that happened to you?”

Lizzie’s lips turn upwards and Hope doesn’t like how tinted with sadness it is.

“Yeah. And I’m sure pretending my sun is just a star is the only act of selflessness I’ll do in this life,” confess Lizzie.

Her eyes snap back to Hope, staring at her with a calm face, opposite of the anger or the shock she’d shown before. 

Hope stares at her. “Must be pretty special if they’re making you this selfless.”

Lizzie doesn’t laugh as she thought she would. Instead, she smiles at Hope and it’s the softest smile she’s ever shown her.

It’s also the one filled with so much emotion she was sure she’d ever seen from Lizzie.

“Yeah, they make me a better person like that,” whispers Lizzie.

Hope kisses her then. She doesn’t understand why, but she does and when Lizzie kisses her back, one hand tangled in brown locks, Lizzie’s lips taste as sweet as her words were, a sweetness Hope could find herself getting addicted to, the same feeling that having Lizzie’s blood in her system gave her.

And if before she’d seen the threads tangling and burning her hands, Hope was scared to look at her hands now.

Not to see if they’d drawn blood. That was the least of her worries now.

She was scared to look down because deep down, she knew that the moment she looked she’d find herself letting go of the only thread that could be her chance of a love she desperately wanted.

And as she wakes up the next morning, Lizzie still asleep in her sheets as Hope dresses and left, she closes the door and leaves behind that small part of her heart yelling _what you want is not what I need-_

She spends her day in a daze, Lizzie’s taste in her mouth still a ghost on her lips whenever she licked them. Hope knows what she did was wrong, that if she kept it up with Lizzie she’d hurt her.

Hope hates herself when she sees Lizzie and immediately kisses Landon.

At that point, as Lizzie leaves and Landon smiles, she doesn’t know who she’s convincing and why the thread on her hands burn, feeling like a knot on her neck she put on herself.

* * *

It takes her a week to notice that Lizzie has been avoiding her.

She sees her, of course. They're just never alone anymore, Lizzie not seeking her and Hope feeling as if the blonde was a cloud of smoke, disappearing right when Hope finds her.

And so, her time is spent with Landon.

Landon and his crappy movie night she can't even pay attention to because he talks over them.

Landon and his supposedly romantic dates that are just going to town and buy two milkshakes.

Landon, who never goes past a simple make out session and Hope isn’t disappointed, but nor is she pleased.

Hope misses Lizzie. Not because she's lacking in every area of her life but because she's starting to feel like something is out of place.

The fire in her heart is starting to run out with every drop of Landon's kindness and part of her misses it. 

She wants Lizzie to come back to her and light it up again with just one look, a few words or maybe a simple touch of her hands.

But it's been four days and Lizzie doesn't talk to her. Hope wonders if she crossed a line, if any of the questions from their last night together made Lizzie want to run away and hide from her forever.

She can always feel Lizzie's eyes on her, though. 

She can tell when she's sitting at lunch with Landon and he's laughing at something she said.

She can tell when she grabs his hand after class and they walk out together.

Hope can tell. It's like she's got a new sense of self and it’s knowing when Lizzie is around her. 

On the last night she stays up and comes up to an earth shattering revelation.

Landon _is_ the person Lizzie was talking about.

It was why she was hinting to Hope if she was sure Landon was who she liked to be with. Why she couldn’t stand the idea of seeing them together.

It’s why she had seen Lizzie talking to Landon the day before, her expression worried and calming down when Landon had rested a hand on her shoulder. They’d looked invested in the conversation and Hope had been shocked when she’d seen the soft smile Lizzie had after Landon left.

Hope stares at the wall in shock. Had she really been that blind to Lizzie’s selflessness?

It made sense. All her insults and comments came from a place of attraction and not hate.

The reason why she hated seeing them kiss is because _she_ wished to be the one to kiss Landon. And Hope had slept with her over and over again, keeping her from the love of her life.

And _god,_ she’d let Lizzie be her personal blood bag. She’d used her for her own pleasure, for her own thirst while Lizzie’s heart laid with the man that Hope was kissing almost every day.

She tries talking to her, tries grabbing Lizzie aside for help, for advice, to beg her to tell Hope the truth. She’d drop Landon at any moment if Lizzie asked her, wouldn’t even think twice.

Hope misses her friend. Misses the only person who knows her secret, who isn’t scared of that part of Hope. 

Hope misses Lizzie.

She isn’t sure she could say the same for the blonde.

Endings with no reason hurt the most when you can see the only person who knows why in every moment of your life.

So Hope takes a deep breath and decides to give Lizzie her space, to let the blonde come to her when she thought it was right.

And until then, her secret would be safe between them, her own heart aching with each kiss of Landon’s and with each of Lizzie’s steps moving away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WASSUP WE'RE HERE WITH CHAP 2!!! Cande and I are in love with ur reactions and there is nth better for us than seeing u enjoyed this fic! This is the last chap and it feels like one of the best stuff to have ever happened to us. Without much words, we hope u enjoy this and PLEASE leave kudos and comments!!! See u next time ;p

_Somewhere in the middle_

_Think I lied a little_

_I said if we took it there, I wasn't gonna change_

_But that went out the window (Yeah)_

_I know that I seem a little stressed out_

_But you're here now and you're turning me on_

_I wanna feel a different kinda tension_

_Yeah, you guessed it, the kind that's fun_

_Hate it when you leave me unattended_

_'Cause I miss ya and I need your love_

_When my mind is running wild_

_Could you help me slow it down?_

_Pretty please, Dua Lipa_

* * *

_Hope can barely see anything around her._

_It's grey, she can hear Raf’s voice calling out to her, MG’s voice warning them to be careful._

_One moment she utters a spell, the other she screams._

_There is blood on her hands, so much blood and she can only fall on her knees, blood soaking her shirt and mind reeling._

_“Hope? Hope!”_

“Hope!”

She wakes up, startled and looks around, hands raised ready to punch.

Only after a moment does she realize she is in her own room, Landon beside her. He looks worried, a hand resting on her shoulder and the other lowering her arms.

“You were having a nightmare, it’s alright,” he says.

But it isn’t, she wants to say. It wasn’t a nightmare, it was something that her brain had kept hidden for whatever reason, something that she desperately needs to know.

She doesn’t say any of it. Instead, she smiles at Landon, petting the hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Meet me for breakfast?”

Landon agrees without much noise, giving her a kiss before slipping away from her bed. He dresses fast, with none of the grace Lizzie used to have and when he leaves with a wave, Hope can finally breathe.

She misses Lizzie.

It had been a month ever since they had last talked.

A month without kissing her.

A month of keeping the biggest secret of her life.

A month of no fire, of no rush in her veins from what Lizzie makes her feel.

She’s tired, the nightmares making no sense and only adding to her anxiety. It felt as if they were memories she kept hidden, as if she’d _made_ them be hidden.

But it made no sense. Nothing made sense and she could only breathe slowly, the hunger in her veins almost making her go insane.

How had she kept herself sane all these times? Just how long had she been a tribrid and hadn’t known?

Hope tries to sleep again but all she manages to do is get even more anxious and restless, the bed feeling uncomfortable and too hot for her.

She dresses quickly and goes to the main hall, looking around to find-

To find who?

Landon?

_Lizzie?_

Landon finds her, however, and she engages in what is possibly the blandest conversation known to mankind. She tries getting away and she hates how Landon doesn’t get her, continues talking about their plans, clueless as ever.

Hope enjoys how he can fill a conversation most of the time, but right now when all she wants is to breathe and have everything be silent, he’s on the brink of making her go nuts from how annoying he sounds.

Hope leaves the moment she notices a shadow of blonde hair, pushing past Landon and breathing heavily, annoyance and desperation thick on her tongue. She blinks when she turns the corner and finds no one, only the main hall and the stairs.

Who she finds is Josie, sitting on the stairs and drinking a milkshake, Penelope beside her.

“Have you seen Lizzie?”

Penelope smirks teasingly as Josie blinks, surprised by her suddenness.

“Hello to you too, Mikaelson,” replies Penelope and Hope pays her no mind, attention focused on Josie.

Josie hesitates for a moment. “Well, she did say she was going on town-“

“When does she come back?”

Hope starts getting impatient, the collar of her shirt almost choking her. Why had it gotten so hot suddenly?

Josie, sweet and amazing Josie notices and looks at her worried. “Are you oka-”

“Just tell me where the hell Lizzie is!”

“Hope, calm down-”

“I need to find Lizzie _now.”_

She can see the shock in Josie’s eyes just as she notices the reflection of her golden eyes in hers. Every sound rushes to her ears, the chatter from the witches, how the wolves laugh loudly and the rush of blood on Josie’s veins.

She feels as if everybody is looking at her and Penelope stands up, covering Josie with her body. Her shoulders are tense and Hope hates it, wants her to get away and _stop stealing her oxygen and stop being so close-_

“Hope.”

A warm hand sits on her shoulder and Hope turns around fast enough to give herself a whiplash, a growl coming from her throat.

Lizzie looks at her surprised and Hope doesn’t want to think how she looks, golden eyes and her fangs shown and bared to the girl, black veins barely seen from the lowlights of the room.

The blonde doesn’t step back, her other hand coming up behind Hope’s head. Hope doesn’t push her away when Lizzie pulls her head on her shoulder, forehead resting against her soft sweater.

“What are you looking at? Not enough entertainment in your miserable lives?” Lizzie barks out to everyone.

Hope can’t hear her well, Lizzie’s arm wrapped around her head and her hand blocking her ear. She can barely breath and Lizzie’s blue sweater glows golden where she rests her face.

She’s so close to her neck, can hear the beating of her heart and her mouth waters when she remembers how delicious her blood was-

“Is she-”

“She’s alright. Probably took too much of Satan’s stash I gave her last night.”

Penelope’s laugh feels as if it’s from another room. “Take her somewhere before she actually starts biting and not barking.”

Lizzie’s heart beats fast, Hope tries focusing on it until breathing feels easier, not on the blood and not on how loud everything was.

“I’ll teleport us to your room, alright?” whispers Lizzie.

Hope can’t find it in herself to talk and nods her head. Lizzie’s hand leaves her hip and she’s sure the girl is siphoning from Penelope.

One moment her ears are buzzing and the other everything is quieter.

“Hope, you can open your eyes.”

She sees Lizzie on her knees before her, eyes concerned as they catch her still golden ones.

“I-“ she chokes on her words, clawing at the collar of her shirt.

Lizzie opens it, unbuttoning three buttons and sliding her jacket off.

“I’ll try something, alright?” 

Hope doesn’t reply, desperate for Lizzie to just make everything stop-

She gasps as Lizzie removes her hair from her neck, throwing them behind her shoulder. Lizzie guides her head gently to her neck and Hope can’t control herself, screwing her eyes shut when her fangs meet blood.

“Take as much as you want, it’s alright,” cooes Lizzie.

Hope feels as if she can breathe then, heart beating on the same rhyme as the blonde’s. 

Lizzie’s blood is peace in the chaos of her mind, the only thing connecting her most feral parts with her own self. It slips through her lips like melted gold, tasting better than what Hope was sure normal blood tasted like.

She drinks until Lizzie pulls her away, smiling gently at her. Hope cannot see her golden eyes on the reflection in Lizzie’s blue eyes.

“Good girl,” murmurs Lizzie, smiling at her softly.

“You’re here,” croaks Hope out, voice rough. Lizzie nods her head, thumb wiping Hope’s blood from her lips.

“Thankfully I am. Pretty sure no one would understand the vampy freakout,” teases Lizzie, trying to lighten up the frown on Hope’s face.

When it doesn’t, and the frown remains in place, Lizzie puts a hand on her neck and looks at her in confusion, thumb caressing her cheek.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

With a sigh Hope lowers her head, resting it on her hands and she hates how cold she is without Lizzie’s hands on her. When she raises it again, she can almost breath, were it not for the guilt weightening her down.

“I finally understood why you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

When she sees the fear and panic in Lizzie’s eyes, she knows she’s right.

“Hope, I swear we don’t have to talk about it-“

“I’m ready to not get with Landon if he makes you happy.”

“You- _what_?”

“You’re in love with Landon. And you’re uncomfortable with being used as the bloodbag of the only person holding you from him.”

Hope doesn’t look at Lizzie, she can’t and she doesn’t understand why. She can’t understand why her chest doesn’t feel any lighter now that she spilled the truth.

Her shaking hands and palpating heartbeat are signs of the start of another panic attack and she doesn’t understand _why_. Had she been looking at Lizzie, she would have seen the disgust, then the relief and then the disappointment the blonde felt.

But she keeps her eyes closed, trying to keep the calm that Lizzie managed to give her and not let it slip away from her fingers. Her blood was still fresh on her tongue, enough that Hope could feel the control on her senses better.

Hope feels soft hands around in her wrists and she almost feels like smiling when she notices how she feels as if her wrist burns when Lizzie touches it.

“I’m not in love with the hobbit,” she whispers.

Hope opens her eyes and looks up to Lizzie’s, finding nothing but the truth in them.

“But you _are_ in love with someone,” she clarifies, “you said that.”

“Yeah- but they don’t feel the same so, it’s alright. And I’m _not_ your bloodbag, nor am I feeling as if you’re using me as one.”

Hope moves her hands so she can tangle them with Lizzie’s. Two pieces of a puzzle, she thinks. Warm hands and cold ones, fitting in perfection.

She thinks of Lizzie’s kindness, her patience, her obsession with fantasy books, her love for her family.

“They’d be crazy not to like you then,” she whispers and the smile Lizzie gives her is the same as the one she’d seen their last night together- sad, almost painful for her, as if she’s forcing herself to smile or else she’d start crying. 

Hope hates that she has seen more sad smiles from Lizzie than happy ones these days.

Lizzie stands up then, dusting her skirt from invisible dust. A delicate hand slips under her chin and Hope raises her head. 

She stares at Lizzie with all her walls broken down, barely breathing and with teary eyes. It’s the most open she has ever been with the girl, the remains of the panic attack leaving her vulnerable and _needy_ to know the truth.

“ _She_ is annoyingly too good for me,” Lizzie pauses, eyes focused on Hope’s lips, thumb caressing them, “so it’s alright.”

Hope leaves Lizzie in her thoughts, her lips kissing her thumb gently. Lizzie smiles at her and she tips her chin higher. Her thumb is replaced by her lips and Hope closes her eyes as Lizzie’s lips meet hers.

It’s the softest kiss Lizzie has ever given her, yet it burns her as if Lizzie was the sun-

Hope gasps and Lizzie pulls back, eyes meeting Hope’s before standing up fully. 

Lizzie leaves her.

Hope watches her leave.

Her lips still burn. It’s the best pain, it's why she jumps out of her window easily and when she reaches the ground, her paws touch the ground.

That night, everyone hears the howling of a lone wolf. Some say they heard a young girl screaming, others say that a flash of white had passed through the woods, a ghost or a being too desperate to leave.

Leave where, Hope wonders. 

To Landon? To his warm embrace, calm eyes and open, accepting arms?

Or to Lizzie? To the girl who she felt so much for and didn’t know what to do with all the _hurt-_

So she leaves nowhere. She runs as a wolf and when Raf finds her, he tells her she had been running as if she had wanted to escape from her own skin.

So Hope sleeps.

Lizzie avoids her.

Hope kisses Landon.

It’s what she’s supposed to want and what she hates.

Her mother had died too early, had forgotten to tell Hope when it was right to settle for comfortable peace and when to not chase after the passion that reminded her of the freedom being a wolf gave her.

So she does what she does best: sacrifices her own sanity for the peace of everyone.

* * *

Lizzie, Hope thinks, is a very unique person.

She’s the first one to take up any task the teacher gives out for extra credit. Hope’s pretty sure, however, that she takes the task to hang out with the young students out of her own wish.

Watching her and Pedro is amusing, she decides. The small boy is a bundle of energies and watching Lizzie teach him small tricks warms her heart.

She’s perhaps too focused on that to notice Landon sneak beside her.

“Hey there,” he says. Hope nearly jumps and she barely has any time to lean back before he’s kissing her.

His lips are slightly chapped against hers and she almost wants to push him away. But as long as he kept on smiling that smile of his that warmed her heart, Hope was sure she could keep on kissing him.

_The best for everyone, this is what I want, this is how it’s supposed to be-_

“You have class now?” he asks, leaning on the wall beside her. She nods her head, eyes still focused on Lizzie, who’s now letting Pedro ride on her back, both of them laughing loudly.

She can’t hold back a smile, heart soft from how nice the view was.

“I can’t believe how she handles him.”

Hope’s eyes snap at Landon, who’s staring at-

Lizzie.

Something shifts in her then. Maybe it was his almost condescending look at Lizzie or at how his smile reminded Hope too well of the red jacket wearing boys who pushed him around those many years ago.

“What do you mean?” she snaps. Landon is taken by surprise, staring at her surprised.

“Lizzie. Pretty sure she’ll corrupt the poor kid,” he continues, not even realizing his mistake.

Hope closes her eyes, knowing that they’d be flashing yellow if she kept them open. When she looks at Landon again, her smile is tight and fake.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at Lizzie?”

He gives her a weird look and nods his head. Landon leans in again but Hope sees him this time, acting as if she hadn’t noticed, turning her head to look at Lizzie as he ends up kissing her cheek.

She doesn’t look at him as he leaves, doesn’t care enough to.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Her shoulders fall when she notices Raf, his smile gentle as he stepped beside her. 

He was her best friend, she was sure of that. If there was a person she liked spending time with beside Lizzie, it was Raf.

Landon wasn’t even in the top three. 

  
  


“He acts as if he is this… righteous and good person just because he was bullied and hurt but-”

“He easily becomes a hypocrite,” finishes Raf.

Hope is proud of how he doesn’t shy away to end her words. She remembers once, when he’d rivaled Josie in being the brother to always do as the other said. And he’d grown, the same way Josie had. 

Raf wasn’t afraid to respect the line between being loyal and when to be right. 

Perhaps that’s why she’d pick him as her best friend any day.

“Look at her,” says Hope. Raf does as told, a small smile playing on his lips.

“She definitely doesn’t look ready to murder anyone,” he teases, earning himself a punch on the shoulder from Hope.

Raf’s eyes move to her, Hope doesn’t look at him. She’s glad Lizzie hasn’t noticed her yet, giving her the chance to stare and think for all she wanted to.

“Hope?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you like Lizzie?”

She doesn’t pay him much attention. “Of course I do.”

“More than Landon?”

Hope snickers. “At least she’s a funnier nerd.” Raf hums and when she looks at him, she doesn’t enjoy the knowing smirk on his face. 

“What is it?”

He laughs and she punches him. He laughs again and she punches him again, until they end up bickering like kids, both of them laughing and hitting each other playfully.

“Two puddles playing together. I’d get famous if I opened a pet Insta with videos of you two.”

They turn to Lizzie, who stands with Pedro beside her, holding her hand and staring at them. Raf is the first one to fix himself, standing taller and smiling politely at Lizzie.

“Lizzie, lil guy. You two got a free hour?”

Hope tries getting her breathing in control as he speaks, eyes studying Lizzie as she and Raf speak. 

Lizzie was wearing a white turtleneck, fitting her snugly and who ended under her red skirt. Hope liked that skirt, had pulled it down more than once in the woods at night or even in her own-

“Hope!”

Hope blinks and only then does she notice the three pairs of eyes on her. Raf was barely holding his laughter and Lizzie was smirking. 

“You and Lizzie got class now. We said I could walk Pedro to his and you two go together.”

She nods her head. “Yeah, of course, why not?”

They do as told and then there’s only Lizzie and Hope, standing in silence before each other.

“Should we-”

“Yeah, let’s go,” interrupts Lizzie. 

They walk side by side, Hope stiff and stealing looks at the girl beside her and from what she can see, there isn’t a single hint she can pick up about what Lizzie is thinking.

Hope’s hand grazes Lizzie’s as they walk, each swing bringing them closer. It isn’t much of a contact but Hope yearned for more. She misses Lizzie, misses her touch and her fire and everything Lizzie makes her feel.

Lizzie frowns when Hope laces their hands together. They fit as they always had, Hope’s smaller hand feeling right at place inside Lizzie’s cold palm.

(Once, when Hope had gone down on the blonde while holding her hand, she had teased her about how cold her hand was.

Lizzie had rolled her eyes then, eyes glinting as she held Hope’s hands in hers.

_Thankfully I have a werewolf to warm me up,_ she had said, her smirk infective and Hope had kissed her again and again and _again,_ hands never letting go.)

“What are you doing?” asks Lizzie, still not looking at her. 

Hope smiles, “Holding your hand.”

Lizzie frowns and moves her hand away, “Well, stop.”

“Why?” She asks as she stops walking, Lizzie continuing a few steps before she realizes Hope isn’t by her side.

They were always a contrast, somehow. 

Hope, staying alone in her pain while Lizzie surrounded herself with people.

(Hope clinging to Lizzie for peace of heart as Lizzie kept her distance.)

Hope, listening to her head while Lizzie followed her heart with certainty.

(Hope listening to her heart and ignoring it while Lizzie made sure they did the smartest thing, always too far for Hope to try and pick up what her heart said.)

Sometimes it was simpler things, like Lizzie wearing white while Hope wrote black.

(Or Lizzie in Hope’s black jacket, looking as powerful as she made Hope feel as Hope stole her white sweater with a grin.)

How Hope felt like going slow while Lizzie wanted to go hard and fast. 

(Hope begging Lizzie to ruin her, give her everything she had while Lizzie only gave her half of what she took.)

They were opposites in as many things as they were the same.

“Because everyone will think the wrong thing,” she snaps at Hope.

Hope stares at her ridiculously, throwing her arms on the air. “Are you serious? What are they even gonna think?”

Lizzie sighs loudly, eyes are icy when they meet Hope’s. 

“Go ask your boyfriend that, Mikaelson.”

That’s all Lizzie says before starting to walk again, leaving Hope standing alone in the middle of the gardens. She groans loudly and dashes after her, reaching her easily.

“Landon and I aren’t dating,” she says.

Something changes in Lizzie’s face and Hope can hear her heartbeat quicken. Was she actually lying when she said she didn’t love Landon?

Lizzie rolls her eyes. “I don’t care what you and the hobbit do.”

“I’m serious,” she clarifies, “we’re not dating.”

“Does _he_ know that?”

Hope glares at her in annoyance and when they reach class, both of them sit on opposite sides of the class.

Hope knows she’s being childish, but she doesn’t hesitate to ignore Lizzie for the rest of the day.

It hurt but, so did Lizzie’s behavior.

* * *

The need for blood gets harder and harder to ignore in the next few days. A part of her whispers it’s because she has no one to take her mind off it, yet she ignores it.

She’s ignoring Lizzie, because she knows the moment she sees her she’ll apologize (and she doesn’t even know what she has to apologize about). She’s ignoring Landon, because the moment he sees her he’ll apologize and she’ll have no choice but to lick his wounded ego and say it’s fine.

So, during the day she stays inside her room, where it’s quiet and the noise of everyone around her won’t overwhelm her. She had told Emma she had caught a cold but she’s not even sure a tribrid could do that. 

At night she sneaks into the kitchen and steals a bag of blood. It’s not as good as Lizzie’s, the blood tastes more like iron and plastic together rather than anything else. There’s no rush of blood and the pulsing of Lizzie’s vein on her mouth. Drinking out of a blood bag feels exactly the same as drinking apple juice.

She wonders if the hunger is the same for everyone, feels like asking MG and hiding it as work for a class. But they share the same classes and it’d be the worst lie she’d be able to make.

So Hope continues drinking bad blood in the silence of the night, the kitchen cold and lonely as she sipped slowly. Too invested in the cooking video tutorial she was watching, she doesn’t notice Lizzie looking from her shoulder.

“Didn’t take you for a… soup girl.”

Hope jumps on her skin, turning to Lizzie who looks at her with a teasing smirk. Her high ponytail swings for a moment from stepping away from Hope’s space, making her seem taller than usual.

“I’m just... restless.”

“I thought you were doing better.”

Lizzie says it as if just a fact, no questions of _why aren’t you better now_ or _what happened now_ in an exasperated voice behind it. Lizzie asks and Hope doesn’t have the heart to tell her she was the reason she was doing better.

For some reason, once Lizzie calms the fire in her heart the same way she makes it burn Hope to the ground- once she makes it ache a little less with a smile or a kiss- Hope can allow herself to sleep.

But with each day that Hope passes _Lizzieless_ , her fire starts to burn like flames in a forest.

“I could use some company,” she says instead.

“Hope-”

“Just to sleep- nothing else. _Please_.”

It should be embarrassing how she’s basically begging Lizzie to stay with her, to warm her up because her soul feels colder without the blonde.

She knows Lizzie will see right through her, read between the unsaid as she always does. 

“Okay.”

Hope sighs and burns the empty blood bag with a spell, taking Lizzie’s hand and leading her to her room.

* * *

“What are they about? The nightmares.”  
  


Lizzie draws small circles in Hope’s back as she whispers. They’re face to face with their arms around each other, the movements that lead to it so comfortable and easy to get to, different from the few times she had to readjust her hand on Landon’s because it was giving it a cramp.

“They’re… weird.”

“Oh, wow. Such big words from Hope Mikaelson.”

Hope shifts until she’s closer to Lizzie and rests her hand on her cheek, grounding herself a little bit. She smiles softly when Lizzie closes her eyes at the touch, frowning in concentration as she caresses her cheek.

“They’re not always the same. Most of the time I’m running but I keep seeing the same thing over and over again, like a glitch. Sometimes I hear Raf call out for me or I see MG’s eyes. I don’t know. Maybe I just sound crazy.”

“You don’t,” Lizzie reasureses her, “maybe something happened in that mission you had with them a couple of months ago.”

Hope frowns, “I never had a mission with just them.”

“You did, there was some bigfoot weirdo in the woods or something.”

She sits up, looking at Lizzie. There’s confusion clouding her mind, fear as to why she can’t remember whatever Lizzie is saying.

“That never happened.”

She tries to think back to that day. 

What day was it? 

_Wednesday_ , she thinks, _I had magical chemistry that day_. 

What did she do? She went to see Alaric… 

What did she do after that? 

_Why_ can’t she remember? 

“Hope, hey, _Hope._ _Breath_.”

Lizzie sits up, face showing her concern and yet Hope felt as if Lizzie wasn’t going to panic and knew in a way what to do, without Hope even asking for help.

“I’ll try something Josie did for me once, alright?” 

Hope doesn’t reply, desperate for Lizzie to just make everything _stop-_

She gasps as Lizzie’s hands on her shoulder and chest siphon her magic out of her. Lizzie keeps eye contact, eyes glinting from the red glow of her hands.

“Breathe with me. Let it out, let it all out,” murmurs Lizzie.

Hope feels as if she can breathe then, breathing in sync with the blonde, eyes trained in hers. 

The red glow stops right when the golden glow of her eyes is replaced by her blue eyes.

“Good girl,” says Lizzie, brushing her hair from her face with gentle fingers. 

Maybe it’s Lizzie’s smile, or even her hand which she now rests on Hope’s cheek that makes her lean forward, catching Lizzzie’s lips in a kiss. Lizzie gasps, hand tensing on her cheek and Hope pulls back, blinking tiredly and confused.

“What’s wrong?”

Then there’s that smile again. The sad one. The one that makes Lizzie’s eyes look clearer with the tears and the muscles around her face tightening to create something so forced, so completely _sad_.

Hope hates it.

“I can’t do this anymore, Hope.”

Lizzie doesn’t look at her as she says it, stares at her hands which fall on her lap, unmoving and tense.

“Please, I just want you to make it go away,” says Hope, her voice breaking, and it's painful the way her throat is hurting right now, how desperately she needs Lizzie.

She needs it to stop and she knows Lizzie is the only one that’s able to do it.

“I can’t fix _you_ and break myself at the same time,” she whispers, “Let’s go to sleep, I’ll help you figure out what happened tomorrow.”

Hope stares at her, helpless and with her hands tied. Lizzie lays down again and when she opens her arms, Hope feels as if she’s pushing her the furthest away that Hope can be.

She lays down in her arms, head settling in Lizzie’s chest as she had done a thousand times before. Lizzie hugs her close, fingers digging in Hope’s back to hold her closer. Hope lets her, nuzzles her face in her neck and desperately _hopes_ that Lizzie won’t notice how she doesn’t let her go from her embrace.

Hope never thought you could be so close to someone, yet so far away.

“Please don’t leave me,” murmurs Hope, defeat clear in her tone, wishing for something she knows she can’t have.

Lizzie sighs and her legs tangle with Hope’s. Her nails drag themselves slowly through Hope’s hair, scratching at her scalp the way she knew Hope liked it to fall asleep.

“Goodnight, Hope.”

Hope closes her eyes and a lone tear slips from her left eye, not missing Lizzie’s soft reply.

_She didn’t promise anything._

Hope doesn’t say it back either. Somehow it makes her feel like whatever they have, Lizzie’s warm embrace, her heartbeat against her ear, everything will disappear in thin air.

She falls asleep that way, and a few moments later, Lizzie follows her.

* * *

Hope wakes up to an empty bed and tries not to let the loneliness she’s feeling consume her.

There’s no note on the pillow nor in her bedside table, nor Lizzie’s jacket or anything she usually left as an excuse for them to meet later.

There’s none of the usual texts from Lizzie explaining why she’s not there.

It just feels like Lizzie’s gone, as if she never was part of her life or as if last night was a dream Hope desperately wished was true.

But she touches the still warm bed sheets and smells the light scent of Lizzie’s perfume and she knows it wasn’t a dream. No matter how much she wished it was.

If it was a dream, that would mean Lizzie didn’t leave her. That’d mean that Lizzie would still be there after a while, holding an orange glass and a blood glass and giving it to Hope as they enjoyed the morning’s sun warmth.

Her phone rings and her heart drops when she notices Landon’s name on it. She’d forgotten about the boy ever since her eyes met Lizzie’s last night in the kitchen.

Had her mind even gone to him any time these past two days when she’d been avoiding him?

But then she sees her schedule on the wall and nearly screams. She’d be late to Emma’s class if she didn’t rush. Her vampire speed comes in help and in less than ten minutes she reaches the gardens, everyone in her class standing before the woman.

“Hello, everyone,” Emma’s voice is pleasant even this early in the morning, “I hope that you had a good night.”

Hope’s eyes scan the crowd and they meet Lizzie’s.

Time stops then, Lizzie’s face empty of any emotion. Her eyes were a different story, pained and so blue Hope could get lost in them.

No one noticed the way Lizzie took a sharp breath and her hands clasped each other, because no one ever did. Not in the way Hope did.

It was something so completely Lizzie, that Hope is sure she’s the only one to know about them, a secret for her brain and Lizzie’s subconscious to know.

She always noticed a lot when it came to Lizzie. 

Simple facts, like how she did her hair depending on her mood (straight when she felt insecure and wanted to blend in, curls when the day was nice and she felt like it’d be a good day, tied in a high ponytail when she was bothered from something, a messy bun when she felt relaxed after sex) or how she scratched her neck when she was nervous of something she said or how she’d tap tunes in Hope’s naked back when she was sleepy.

Hope noticed. She noticed and she remembered and she always would when it came to Lizzie.

Lizzie looks away when Emma starts to talk and so does Hope, disappointment sharp on her chest.

“Today we’re doing some pairs work, to help you learn better about your classmates. You’ll have to find something which reminds you of them, only of course, which can be found in this school.”

Emma asks everyone to make a round and motions to the box in the middle of the garden.

“Now, I’ll do a simple spell and you’ll go one by one and pick a card. It’ll show you the name of your partner. They’ll be someone you have unresolved problems with, so don’t be surprised if it’s someone you hate.”

Hope’s throat tightens and she has to clench her hands to not let her fear show as she walks to the box. She was unlucky but if she was _that_ unlucky-

“Hope and Lizzie,” says Emma.

They look at each other silently and Hope debates to herself whether they’d end up making out in one of the school’s closets or end up ignoring each other the whole hour.

She’s not sure which one she wants.

When they walk away from Emma, Hope turns to her.

“Are we going to talk about last night?”

Lizzie looks around them, seemingly looking for what she could find to represent Hope. But she’s smarter than that, knows Lizzie is simply avoiding her eyes.

“What about last night?” she replies, stubborn as ever, walking towards the school.

Hope groans loudly, following her through the hallways of the school. “You know well what happened last night. Since when do you back away from something?”

Lizzie turns sharply and Hope nearly ends up colliding with her. Her eyes are set on her, gaze intense.

“Since backing away means I won’t get hurt.”

Hope is still standing in the middle of the hallway as Lizzie walks away, frozen on spot at her words.

“You can’t run away from this, Elizabeth!” yells Hope from behind.

All she gets is Lizzie turning around, not hesitating to turn back and walk right up at her again, not paying attention to everyone turning to look at them.

“You’re the one that’s running all the time! I’m tired of going after _you_.”

“I’m not running away from anything, I’m making sure none of us get hurt,” 

She hates how she sounds like she’s excusing herself and she _knows_ there’s no conviction behind her voice when her words falter.

“Well, you’re annoyingly bad at it,” snaps Lizzie.

This time, when she leaves, Hope lets her.

She thinks about everything. Of how this whole mess started. Of how she accepted Landon’s date, how she made sure she’d date him, how she went after him only when Lizzie started ignoring her.

The threads on her hands have finally started making her bleed but Hope isn’t sure the blood is _only_ hers. What cuts more isn’t how fragile her hold on their happiness is; what cuts more is how Lizzie slapped her with the truth across the face.

Hope wasn’t making sure anyone got hurt. She was making sure _she_ didn’t get hurt. 

That _she_ didn’t get hurt by Lizzie’s kisses and how she burned her alive, made her _feel_ alive. That _she_ didn’t get hurt by Landon leaving her, no matter how insignificant that would have been. 

All this time, she’d tried keeping everything in her life, juggling Landon’s heart and Lizzie’s attention as if she was an amateur juggler.

“She’s right, you know.”

She turns around and finds none other than Raf, a book on his hand, a smile on his face. He walks slowly beside her, lowering himself enough to be able to talk to her without being heard.

“What do you mean?” she asks. Raf leans a hand on her shoulder and Hope can almost relax under his touch. 

“You’re a hero, Hope. You’ve saved us more times any of us could count. But the logic of saving everyone from a monster isn’t the same as the one you gotta apply at love.”

She turns to him shocked, eyes searching for an answer in his. He only stares back, gaze warm and understanding.

“You can’t choose everyone in love, Hope,” he continues, “especially between two people when deep down, you’ve already made your choice.”

“I’m just-”

“Scared? That’s alright. Can I ask you something, though?,” he continues at her nod, “Don’t hurt Landon, he’ll understand if you simply rip the band aid off.”

There’s no anger in his voice. Hope thinks maybe there should be; she’ll break Landon’s heart but all she can feel it’s relief that the end is so near her hands.

“Raf, I-” she breathes out, tense and nervous, “I don’t think I’m brave enough for this.”

He laughs, softly and with enough warmth that Hope knows he doesn’t mean bad. He steps aside and she’s left staring at the window, the sunlight streaming through it.

“You’re Hope,” he says simply, adding as if in an afterthought. “I read somewhere that hope and love are enough to make any man brave enough to face whatever they have to.”

_She makes me a better person._

_When you meet your sun, you’ll feel as if the warmth will never leave you, no matter how scary it is to accept it._

Hope is left frozen, hands falling loose on her sides. When she meets Raf’s eyes, she knows he understood what she was thinking.

“I’m-”

“Go get her, Hope.”

She runs towards where Lizzie left, heart beating faster than it was supposed to. Everything felt as if it shone more, holding more beauty and also more insignificance than they had ever had before.

Hope smiles, feeling as powerful as she had when Lizzie’s blood was on her lips. Or was what she felt for her that made her feel this way?

Lizzie made her feel as if she was a god, brought her to the point of creation as if nothing else had, not art and not whatever her powers as a tribrid did. She could create, she could _do_ anything with this passion inside of her.

It’s perhaps why she doesn’t notice Landon, who smiles at her and reaches her right when Hope is figuring out in which way Lizzie left.

“Hey,” he smiles his supposedly charming smile and she hates that it’s taking her time from finding Lizzie, “I was wondering-”

“I'm busy right now,” she interrupts, moving her arm and making his hand fall, “I’ll talk to you later.”

She walks past him and walks in the direction of the hallway leading to the main hall, Landon close behind her.

“Hold on, I wanna talk to you.”

His voice is louder than before and Hope can tell a few eyes land on them as soon as they walk in. She sighs and looks at him in annoyance.

“Can we talk later? I have to find Lizzie now.”

Her words are final but Landon doesn’t get the memo, grabbing her arm again when she turns to leave.

“Why are you always with Lizzie?” he accuses loudly, and the few eyes that weren’t on them, now were watching the scene unfold.

“I’m not.” She wants to laugh about how uncertain her voice sounds yet she tries to keep her face as serious as possible.

“You are, you're always ditching me for her.”

“That's not true.”

“Well then listen to me.”

She rolls her eyes, her nerves spiking up with each more second she spent not going after Lizzie. Landon might have his issues but she’s tired of always doing all she can to accommodate him.

Now he isn’t what she had in mind, as he probably never was.

“I’ve got something important to do,” she says.

“More important than your boyfriend?”

That stops her, turning around to see Landon’s pained face looking at her. Hope can see the annoyance in his eyes and she hates it.

He’d never asked her out. She never cared enough to.

Perhaps it’s the fact everyone is watching them or how Landon feels as if she should explain everything to him that makes her snap.

“We _aren’t_ dating, Landon,” she says, tone hard and voice slow, as if explaining things to a child, “You never asked, and I honestly didn’t care. Just because you have this- _fantasy_ of us doesn't mean we’re together.”

Hope doesn’t hesitate to finish her rant. “I don't even know why I agreed to go on a date with you in the first place.”

Hope’s sure she hears a few gasps when silence falls between them. Landon looks at her shocked, speechless. 

Hope remembers Raf then, how he told her to not hurt Landon. “Look, I’m sorry, can we talk later-”

“No,” said Landon. His voice was harsh now, tained with pain and hurt. “If you want to talk let’s talk now.”

“ _Jesus_ , Landon-”

“Just choose someone!”

Hope sighs and she has to close her eyes to calm down from how annoying his voice is. 

“What do you want me to do? Choose you?”

He falters then, his shoulders dropping, already knowing her answer. “Well-”

“I’m not going to choose you. You’re not my sun, you’re barely even a star to me.”

Landon stares at her for a moment, the shadow of the sweet and calm boy she agreed to go on a date on. Hope had hurt him, she knew that, and the worst of everyone came when you grilled them where it hurt.

“It’s Lizzie. It’s _always_ been her- hasn’t it?”

She freezes at his words. He’s right, it was never him. It was never him with his slow kisses and hands which held her as if he’d never held anything before.

It wasn’t Landon with trust issues that rivaled her own.

It was always Lizzie. I’d been her that night in the shower, that day in the hall when Landon asked her out, when all she could think about when she was with Landon was Lizzie.

She was blind to not have seen it before.

That’s when her heart drops and a scream echoes on the walls of the school. 

Hope doesn’t think then, doesn’t care she’s using her vampire speed and everyone can see her. She runs towards where she heard Lizzie’s scream come from, hating each second she can’t find her.

Hope finds her laid on the ground before her room, arm bleeding, coating the brown hallway red. She can barely hold her teeth from appearing, the only thing helping her keep her cool is her worry for Lizzie.

“What happened?” she asks, panicked as she held on Lizzie’s arm, trying to stop the bleeding.

Lizzie gasps and raises her other hand, holding a paper on her hand. “Next time, stop doing two protective spells over your box.”

Hope stares at the paper on her hand in shock, taking in Lizzie’s smiling face _she_ had drawn there. She’d put everything on that box, which beside the password, would blast anyone away beside her who opened it. All she had dear was inside that box, protected by so many spells that she couldn’t even remember.

It seems Lizzie had been the one to try her luck at it. Hope knows what she had to do, and she knows Lizzie understands when the blonde grips her wrist. “Don’t you _dare,_ Hope. My dad will come-”

“You’re so pale, there’s no time and I don’t have a knife,” she says.

Everyone gasps when Hope’s eyes shine golden, black veins appearing under her eyes. She bites her wrists easily and gives it to Lizzie, who glares at her in worry before drinking her blood.

Hope has to close her eyes to not let herself get carried away. Blood sharing is an intimate thing, even if she is helping Lizzie heal. Lizzie drinks her blood greedily until her blue eyes open to look at her arm, the place where she’d hurt it closed and clean.

“Why the hell did you do that?” she says when she hears Alaric’s steps rush towards them.

Hope smiles and wipes the blood from her chin. Lizzie stares at her in silence.

“Anything is worth it for my sun,” she whispers.

Lizzie freezes and her hold on Hope’s wrists goes slack, hand dropping on her lap. Alaric comes and she knows how scared he is when he sees how her face looks, dark veins and golden eyes too similar to her father.

“What happened here?” he asks, checking Lizzie who wouldn’t even move, eyes digging holes in Hope’s.

“She’s fine, I gave her my blood,” explains Hope.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, feeling her veins disappear and when she reopens her eyes, blue orbs are staring back at Alaric. 

“Let’s- follow me,” he decides to say, getting up and holding Lizzie close to him. 

Hope nods her head and falls on step beside her, the three of them walking towards his office in silence. She looks in surprise at Lizzie when she laces their pinkies, Lizzie’s hand warm against hers.

“I’m sorry I got too competitive to find something which reminded me of you,” whispers Lizzie.

She can only smile and shake her head, thumb raising to caress Lizzie’s palm. Hope feels calm then, her secret out for everyone to know. She isn’t scared, Lizzie her anchor to keep her grounded.

“Everything will be okay,” Hope says.

Lizzie grins then and Hope notices Alaric looking at them as they talk.

“Until the bitter end,” whispers Lizzie right before Alaric pushes her gently to enter his office. 

Hope doesn’t care to notice his judging glare, too focused on Lizzie’s smile.

She is her sun in every possible way.

* * *

There was a part of her that knew all this would happen. 

Hope just never thought it’d be so _soon_.

She thought maybe it’d be when she was around 20 and an old Mikaelson enemy came for her, killing her in a way that made her even more powerful.

She thought she’d die for someone else, sacrifice herself without a second thought.

She never thought it’d be an accident and that she would barely notice it.

Hope wants to call Rebekah then, ask her how she controls her urges and thirst. Or write to Kol, ask him if the feelings ever stop being so _loud_.

She wishes she could meet Elijah again, ask him a few tips on how to be less messy when she’s drinking blood.

Mostly, he wants to see her dad and ask him if the worry ever goes away. The fear of forgetting, missing, losing everyone around you. Of her own self being the only constant thing in her life.

She found once an old dusty book in the attic. She had been amazed when she found the most beautiful writing and drawings in it. Hope didn’t realize it’s Klaus’ until Kol asked where she had found it.

The book was almost yellow from age, her father’s handwriting messy and talking about how he didn’t want to forget what happened to him in his life. Kol had smiled when she had reached the sudden end, mentioning how Klaus had given up and picked up painting.

Hope always appreciated the fact that there was something of her father around her that wasn’t his eyes in the mirror or his anger in her outbursts.

Yet there was this quote on the notebook, one that hadn’t left her mind since the fangs had come out of her mouth.

_Over the years, I've had my share of friends, enemies, lovers, losses, and triumphs. With time, they all begin to blend together, but you'll find that the real moments are vibrant. The rest just fades away. Pain fades away._

She wonders what will be vibrant and what will fade away.

Will she forget Landon? Or will they remain friends throughout the rest of their lives? Two beings that can never be killed.

Will she forget Alaric and the time he got a terrible beard? Josie and her need to always do the most dangerous of spells?

Will Lizzie remain her sun forever? Or will she become a star once the years pass and Hope moves on as her body lies five feet underground?

Will she leave the school? Or will she stay, make sure it’s protected and thriving, in honor of them?

“You’re thinking _way_ too loudly.”

MG’s voice is warm as he grabs a bag of blood and some cookies. He walks over and sits in the chair in front of Hope. Hope rolls her eyes and smiles at him when he offers her one of the latters.

She nips on it quietly while MG drinks his blood. After a few moments he tenses and she doesn’t realize what for until she looks up and sees him observing her glass.

“Are you… drinking _blood_?”

“Didn’t you hear? I’m officially part of the vamps’ team too.”  
  


She tries to ease the tension, get MG to laugh but the concern in his eyes is still there and she isn’t sure it’s going to go away as easily as she thought.

“How did that happen?” His voice is slow, like he’s almost scared of hearing the answer.

“I think… it was during that mission we had with Raf. Do you remember it?”

“I do,” his eyes widen, “I gave you some of my blood that day.”

Hope makes the connection easily, even if she doesn’t know just _how_ exactly she ended up taking his blood. She leaves that for tomorrow, already tired from everything she had found out about herself.

It was enough self revelation for one day.

“What do you think you’ll do? Once this is all over?” she asks instead, her voice slow and small.

“You mean when everyone dies?”

Hope takes a moment to reply. “Yeah.”

He stays quiet for a moment. Hope wonders if he’s thinking about his mom- who’s always hiding him- and his dad- who still believes he’s gone and is so religious MG will never see him again.

“I don't know. I’ll probably be sad for a long time, but I’ll still have Kaleb- and you, I guess.”

MG stares at her, easily noticing her troubled expression. He’s a smart guy, Hope has to give him that, understanding in the way only someone who shares the same fate as you can be.

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m so… scared of it. Of forgetting everyone. Of stopping loving them one day. I don't want that to happen.”

“We’ll remember and love them forever. Together if you want,” he says.

Hope glances at how he grabs her hand, his hold as gentle as his smile is. She smiles, wiping her tears away with her other hand, nodding her head with a smile.

And sitting with MG, she thinks everything will be alright.

* * *

The door looks the same as that night after the showers. It still feels like it was yesterday, her own fist shaking as she knocked for a second chance.

Hope knocks this time and when Lizzie opens the door her eyes aren’t filled with curiosity, she just looks at her as if she had been waiting for the moment Hope would show up knocking.

“Hold on, I’ll go get my coat,” she says before disappearing into her room.

Hope smiles as she stares through the window of the hallway. It was such a Lizzie thing to know her without even speaking, a single look shared between them enough.

Lizzie takes her hand as she closes the door and guides Hope until they're outside. Hope’s smile softens when she thinks how this small part of the woods had become theirs.

Her smile drops when she remembers Lizzie’s shock and confusion at her confession. She never said anything back nor did she ever tell Hope who the person she’s in love with was. 

She untangles their hands and nervously bites her lip before speaking.

“About what I said…”

Lizzie turns around, eyes staring at her with curiosity and nervousness. Hope wonders if she’s planning how to let her down gently, or if she’s waiting for Hope to say she didn’t mean it.

“You called me your sun,” repeats Lizzie, ever the helpful person.

Hope agrees with a nod, nails digging in her palm as she shoves them in her jacket’s pockets. She isn’t going to deny it, nor is she going to play the fool only to still keep everything the same between them.

“Yes. You _are_ my sun. And- and it's alright if I’m not yours.”

“Hope-”

Lizzie’s eyes are so calm, so open- the tears in them making them shine as if they were made of glitter. Hope can only look away, too ashamed to be the reason why Lizzie feels like crying.

“It’s alright, I know when someone doesn’t like me, even if it rarely happens.”

“God, you’re so stupid,” Lizzie’s voice is sharp as she replies.

Lizzie storms off, steps hard and breaks twigs under her feet. Hope takes a moment to understand what happened, and by then Lizzie had already reached the top of the Mill.

“What did I even do this time?” calls out Hope, standing on the ground before the Mill to look up at Lizzie, who glares down at her.

“What _didn’t_ you do?!”

“I’d love it if you stopped being a bitch and tell me!” screams Hope, stomping on her feet like a child. 

She slaps her head then, remembering her vampire abilities. It’s as easy as breathing when she jumps on the air, dropping easily behind Lizzie, who still glares at her as she stands up.

“You can’t just call me your sun and then ignore the way I’ve been in love with you for years!”

“You’re in lo- You’re in _what_?”

Lizzie snorts and rolls her eyes, and if Hope didn’t know it was to hide her pain she’d have thought Lizzie was being a bitch again. She did that a lot, Hope thought, hiding her pain away with a roll of eyes.

“I told you the girl I’m in love with is too good for me and _you are_ , but you’re also so fucking stubborn and stupid.”

Hope starts smiling then, a dumb smile on her face which she knows is getting on Lizzie’s nerves.

“What are you smiling for?” snaps Lizzie.

Hope steps closer, raising her hand to point between them.

“You’re in love with me and you still insult me.”

Lizzie blushes red then, turning away and Hope is left smiling at the blonde’s back. She steps around her, facing Lizzie again, a game of hide and seek.

And seek she did, Lizzie’s eyes meeting hers without much resistance.

“Just because I love you that doesn’t magically make you any smarter,” complains Lizzie.

Hope laughs, head falling against Lizzie’s chest and resting there, tears slipping from her eyes in happiness. 

_This_ was what her mother wanted her to have. This love, this peace she could feel with Lizzie who made her feel as alive as she could be. Lizzie made her life brighter, made her worries disappear in thin air with a jab or two.

Hope wishes she’d had the chance to tell her mother about Lizzie. Go to New Orleans and introduce her to Hayley as she held her hand. Her mom would smile and say something embarrassing about Hope and she’d pretend to be annoyed but she’d love every minute of it, beside the two people she cared most about.

She thinks having found her sun in Lizzie is enough for now and that her mom would be proud of her wherever she is, watching over her.

Hope looks up and smiles softly at Lizzie, gently puts a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and rests her hand on the crook of her neck.

“ _U te amo, mei solis.”_

“Latin? Really? God, you’re such a sap.”

“You love me though.”

“I do. I love you,” says Lizzie.

Hope freezes for a moment, eyes stuck on Lizzie’s shy smile and how her hands grab Hope’s. It was perhaps the first time her blue eyes were looking at Hope without hiding anything, love spilling from them as if she’d opened the gates.

As she kisses her, Hope realizes its a flood she won’t mind drowning in.

* * *

Hope warms the cup of tea in her hand with a spell- a small distraction from having everyone’s eyes on her. 

She focuses until breathing feels a little easier. Lizzie’s hand on her knee does help, the blonde’s smile supportive as she sits beside Hope.

“So, how are we doing this?” says Raf

“Maybe you guys can tell us what happened?” Lizzie responds when she looks over to Hope and finds her silent.

The two werewolves stare at each other for a moment. Raf waits for Hope’s approval to start speaking, finding it through her short nod.

His words are slow as he talks, playing with his hands and looking down as he spoke. Hope could only hear him as if he was telling a tale, not the story of the most important change in her life.

It all hits when MG waves his hand in front of her face, his wrist right before her nose, his scent as strong as ever. She falls back on the couch, Lizzie staring at her in concern as Hope stares at Raf, everything coming back like a wave washing over her.

_The smoke is thick, blocking her view from Raf and MG._

_Hope looks around fruitlessly, coughing as she tries to focus on the noise around her. She’s sure she can hear Raf’s heavy breathing close by, even MG speed running around them._

_“Raf! MG! Where are you?”_

_“I can’t see anything, Hope. What kind of vampire is this dude?” calls out MG._

_Hope can barely reply before something goes through her. She gasps loudly, looking down and seeing the blood on her stomach, the knife deep in her._

_“Puto.”_

_The words barely come out of her mouth as the fog clears. She sees Raf and he immediately runs to her side when she falls on her knees._

_“Shit, Hope, what happened?” he says, panic overtaking his features as he holds her._

_Hope tries to focus and she does right on time._

_A flick of the wrist and the creature behind them falls on the ground, dead and with a broken neck. MG slips beside her then, eyes filled with veins._

_She doesn’t manage to tell him to get away, not wanting to put her friend in any more pain than he already was. MG bites at his wrist quickly, giving it to Hope._

_“You’re a tribrid and all but you might need the extra help,” he says as she drinks his blood._

_Raf winces as he pulls the knife out of her. Hope can’t even find it in herself to scream._

_“Let’s just get out of here,” she manages to mutter after a while._

_They carefully place her in the back of the car. She’s only half asleep but can feel how Raf is driving faster than usual because he’s not avoiding any of the bumps in the road as he always does._

_She vaguely hears MG talking with Alaric on the phone and Raf begging her to stay awake little longer._

_Hope touches the wound on her chest and frowns at the blood still coming out of it, wondering just how much of it was hers and how much was mixed with MG’s._

_“Something’s wrong,” she mutters but it comes out more like a prolonged groan and when Raf asks her to repeat herself, she’s already asleep._

_She doesn’t remember much after that, waking up sore and with a sore throat, everything louder than it usually was._

_Emma helps her get up and gives her a couple of pills before leaving._

_Hope can do nothing but try and focus, holding her head in pain from how loud everything was. She must have hit her head badly if it was still having an effect on her._

_But she pushes it away, as she does with everything that happens to her._

“I died,” gasps out Hope, her hold on Lizzie tight, as if she’d sink and drown if Lizzie didn’t hold her.

And Lizzie held her, nails digging in her shoulders to keep her grounded, the slight pain more than welcome in her dazed state. Raf gets up, kneeling before her, holding the hand she gripped the couch with.

Hope stares at him, and then at Lizzie, barely breathing. “In the car ride. I didn’t- I didn’t fall asleep. I _died.”_

Hope can feel herself spiral and she gasps loudly when Lizzie’s hand on her neck glows red, siphoning until Hope lets herself drop in Lizzie’s arms. Lizzie kisses her head, hand on the back keeping her close, her heart beating strongly against Hope’s ear.

“We’ll get through this, alright?” says Raf, tightening his hold on Hope’s hand.

Hope moves her head, her smile tired as she laces their fingers together. Raf smiles at her, the best friend she could ask for, his presence bringing her peace.

“Until the bitter end,” murmurs Lizzie, her voice warm as the sun on a summer sky.

For the first time in ever, with her best friend and _sun_ beside her, she felt like she could get through everything.

* * *

Hope’s dreams have always been some kind of message for her. 

She had dreamt of the Hollow before she understood what it was.

She dreamt of the blood dripping from her father’s mouth before she saw it in real life.

She once dreamt of blonde hair and blue eyes when she was twelve, a smile so wide and so beautiful, but she had pushed it on the furthest corner of her mind when she woke up.

This dream starts like any other. But this time there’s a sense of calmness and warmth inside her she hasn’t felt before, as if whatever she was dreaming was something she wasn’t going to be afraid of.

The woods around her are empty and quiet, the rays of sunlight seeping through the tall trees like passages to heaven, her eyes glinting at the beauty. It was peaceful and oddly familiar, her steps barely heard from the chirping of the birds.

Hope looks around confused when she hears laughter and she walks towards the sounds. She finds a group of people sitting around each other, playing music and with smiles on their faces, the clear image of peace.

“Hope?”

Hope’s heart drops when she turns around and finds Hayley standing before her.

“ _Mom_?”

Her mother is as beautiful as when Hope saw her years ago. Her shocked face melts in a teary smile when she runs up to her, hugging her close. Hope lets her eyes fall closed, tears escaping from her own eyes as her mother’s warmth engulfs her.

Hayley steps back and her hands touch Hope’s face, her smile warm and making Hope laugh in happiness.

“You’ve grown so much,” she says.

Hayley looks the same, no new scars or wrinkles in her face- her expression calm but Hope can see some of the worry behind her eyes as to why she was there. 

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she says and Hayley laughs a little bit.

“I think I do, come on.”

She wraps her arm around her shoulders and guides Hope through the forest. They stop once they reach a river, so long and beautiful she takes a second to take it all in. She notices after a while that there’s images in it. People laughing, crying, dancing- she could see them all like through a blurred glass.

“It’s the lake of thoughts,” Hayley explains, “if you think of someone for long enough you can see what they’re doing. I’ve been watching over you this way.”

She takes her eyes away from the water and looks over to her mother, sitting on a small bench Hope hadn’t noticed before. She looks so much like the mother that took Hope to the playground and watched over her from the side of it that it brings tears to her eyes.

“So, you saw what happened to me?”

“I did,” she sighs as Hope sits beside her, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Hope lets her head fall on her mother’s shoulder, her warmth so familiar Hope hated herself for forgetting it. They rest for a while, simply enjoying the peace around them, what Hope wished countless of times to do.

“I- I found my sun,” starts Hope, swallowing when she raises her head again. Hayley smirks at her, knowing and proud. An expression Hope had spent her fair share thinking about.

“Did you now?” teases Hayley, making Hope laugh. “What else did I miss?”

“A lot,” she says, a smile blooming on her face. “Ever since Alaric died, stuff happened and we decided Lizzie and I could hold the school. She’s such a good person, mom, you’d love her.”

Hayley laughs, nodding her head in agreement to her daughter’s words. “I’ve seen enough of your adventures to know about her.”

She wants to tell her about them. Speak until her voice gets tired. Ask her what she thinks she should have done. Tell her every single thing that happened since the moment she was gone. Beg her to somehow come back and be with her again.

“I miss you so much,” she says instead.

Hayley understands her in a way only your mother could, her hand warm in Hope’s. It felt right to be with her mother like that, as if she truly was home.

But she wasn’t, and Hope was surprised to realize how easily she accepted that. Her mother would always be important to her, a piece of her own heart Hope would love until she found her end.

Lizzie was her home now. Lizzie, who she’d been in love with for more than twenty years by now, who was by her side from morning until dawn, until the bitter end. Her anchor to make Hope find things she could love in her life.

Lizzie made Hope love being alive, made her _feel_ alive. Nothing but home could make you feel that.

“Tell me anything about you and Lizzie, or the school,” says Hayley.

Hope smiles and starts. Her tales last long, about how she became a tribrid, how they defeated Malivore, how both the twins ended up becoming heretics. She doesn’t dwell much on the bad memories, on the people they lost and the people that left.

She focuses on the good things, a light in her eyes that wasn’t there when she met her mother years ago. Judging by Hayley’s smile and tearful eyes, her mother had noticed that.

“I’m so proud of you, Hope.”

She smiles and when she’s holding her again, taking in the feeling of Hayley’s arms around her, she notices the tips of her fingers starting to disappear. She leans back and looks at her mother- observing as many details as she could.

“I love you,” she says, a confession as simple as loving her mother, her savior, was.

“I love you too, Hope.”

Hayley’s smile is the last thing she sees before she opens her eyes again.

* * *

Hope laughs when she closes the door to the principals- _her_ office. Raf pulls her towards the hallway, his grin having the same warmth it had ever since she met him so many years ago.

“Dude, I have files to fill for the new students,” she complains even if she lets him pull her.

“Come on, Liz asked for you and you have to see who came to visit.”  
  


He laughs and stops them in the middle of the hallway, silent as they observe. 

New and old students mingle around, parents talking with teachers or simply looking around, talking with their kids. It was a mess as most first days of the new semester were, a mess Hope found herself missing ever since she came back from Europe.

The school under her and Lizzie’s guidance had become stronger, a place of hope and safety, the unity of the supernatural of all kinds. It wasn’t surprising that she ended up opening one in Europe, leaving it under Josie and Penelope’s control, both of them settling in the good country of Scotland. 

“It’s always so loud here. I miss Europe already,” says Hope.

Raf only throws her a glance, clearly amused and getting how she was lying. He knew her well enough, she thought, her best friend she could trust with her life.

“Do you now-”

He’s interrupted by Landon crashing behind him, his curls a mess and his hands filled with documents of all kinds. He smiles at them, his charm still as cute as it was back when she met him.

“Guys- Raf! I need you bro, the new kids are going wild and pretty sure your kiddo will set Jed’s kid on fire if you leave her for one more moment,” he says, words rushing from his mouth.

Hope laughs loudly, not missing Raf’s loud sigh. “Told you it was a bad idea to let Jo babysit Love.”

He only punches her shoulder weakly, throwing an arm around Landon and leaving, both of them talking about whatever Landon’s duty as the kids caretaker had him do. If anything, she was glad they’d managed to salvage their friendship, Malivore a pure test on how they both could be best friends if they gave it a chance.

A familiar heartbeat takes her attention and Hope smiles when she turns around and finds Lizzie. 

The blonde is smiling, talking with a tall, charming boy. Pedro had come back to visit, it seemed. He was much taller now, at least a head taller than Lizzie. A big difference from the little boy who used to climb to her back and made her run around with a laugh.

She watches them and feels the fire that only Lizzie could light up in her heart. A fire that burned calm and steady while she was in Europe, away from Lizzie.

It had only lit up once, now that she thought of it. It had reminded her of how she felt back when she realized she loved Lizzie, almost as if she was being burned alive.

Josie, Penelope and her were walking around the town where they’d build the school and Hope’s eyes found a jewelry store across the street. She had ignored her friends’ questions of where she was going as she crossed the street and found herself staring at the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen.

She looked at it for minutes, long enough for Josie and Penelope to cross the street like normal humans instead of a curious vampire. When they saw what she was looking at they shared a glance and smiled, a knowing look passing between them.

It was a beautiful ring, silver and with a red and blue sapphire on it. Hope could make some adjustments if she made a few calls, write something sweet inside and made sure it fit Lizzie’s finger.

Hope only then realized where her trail of thoughts had led her. A smile had appeared on her lips as she turned to the two girls beside her, pointing to the shop before going inside.

That was months ago, and here she was now, pocket heavy with a velvet box and standing in her home staring at her sun.

She knows there’s a goofy idiotic smile on her face when Lizzie approaches her and kisses her softly, like every time she caught Hope looking at her. Her lips were as soft as they were when Hope kissed her for the first time, igniting the same fire in her.

“Ready for dinner?” Lizzie asks when she pulls away.

Hope can only nod her head, hand tightening in Lizzie’s hold.

“Will you be singing High School Musical?” 

Lizzie laughs, loud and free and so much like the person that got her heart in a hold that Hope never wanted it to be out of.

“I’m a woman of many talents, Mikaelson. I can give you more than one show at the same time.”

As she pulls Lizzie in for another kiss, it feels as if the box on her pocket was simply the start of loving Lizzie until eternity. 

A love burning like the sun.

Until the bitter end, a promise to be kept always and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give us the tea about what u thought on our twitters @lgbtdomlene and @thehopesaltzman

**Author's Note:**

> hit us up at our twitters, @lgbtimelord and @thehopesaltzman if u wanna talk deeper bout the fic!!


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